Oathless
by HikariOni22
Summary: Third part of the 'Sworn to' series. There are those who just can't bear to swear. There are those who have to break promises.
1. Chapter 1

Part 1

"Hana, we need to talk."

The Ace Gunner looked up from the cleaning of her namesake nonchalantly. Akio had his arms crossed over his chest and a stern look on his face, although his brow was creased with worry.

"Hm?"

He stood there, not quite hesitant. It seemed more like he was trying to find the correct words, or the right time to say them. He'd never been so good at heart to hearts, but she knew his eloquence and that he'd breach the subject eventually, soon. She appreciated the last moments of peace.

"About Yuki. I'm not asking you to tell me what happened, I simply want you to know that if you do want to talk, I'm here."

Hana leaned back with a small smirk. Akio knew her tells.

"Look at you, all worried about me. I'm fine," she said.

"Don't lie to me, Hana. Please."

Her smirk fell a little, and she tensed up lightly; she hoped he wouldn't notice, but knew for a fact that he would.

"No, really. I'm good. It's probably better this way."

Akio's features grew more stern.

"And you call me stubborn."

Any trace of a smile faded from her face, and she straightened up. Carefully, Hana laid her Gun against the Unaaq's banister with the click of metal. Akio gladly gave her the time.

"Look. I wasn't ready to settle down. Neither was she. We went our separate ways, and that's the end of the story."

"If you're trying to tell me that's the reason Yuki left you, I don't believe you."

He knew Yuki, and Hana knew he knew. She also knew it was very naive of her to hope that he'd buy the lie. Yet, she doubled down.

"We're Hunters. That's how it goes. You got lucky, you're on the same team as Leiko, but we could hardly see each other, and neither of us had any plans to stop hunting any time soon. So we parted ways."

"After seven years? And you're telling me _Yuki_ gave up? On _you_?"

She grit her teeth a bit, but kept a straight face. She grew tenser, just a little, and again she hoped he wouldn't see it. But Akio knew her tells, and she knew he knew.

"Yes."

He uncrossed his arms and, while his features hardened, his shoulders fell and he sighed.

"Hana..."

"Look," she snapped without being able to stop herself, "I thought you said you wouldn't force me to talk about it?"

"I won't. But I'd appreciate it if you didn't lie so outrageously to my face."

She tried to argue, but he cut her off. She backed down.

"Silence is a valid option. But please stop lying to me."

She shut her mouth on more lies and pursed her lips around them. Her shoulders fell, ever so slightly, and she closed her eyes in surrender. He did not find satisfaction in the victory.

His features softened.

"I'm simply worried about you. We all are," he admitted.

"I'm fine."

He stood there, silent. Debating whether he should give up and give her what she wanted, or press the issue further.

Diplomacy won out.

"Well, alright. Just know that if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

A smile tugged at her lips.

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry your pretty little face."

He gave a stern nod, turned, and left to the clinking of the Gun he guessed Hana hoisted back to herself.

* * *

"Yuki!"

She turned around to face Leiko, quickly walking towards her.

"Hm?"

"Hi. We need to talk."

"Oh?" Yuki gave a small smirk. "Gimme a second."

She turned back to whatever she was doing (Leiko couldn't see, and she wasn't about to peek) for just a second, then faced Leiko again, laying her hands on the table behind her and leaning back slightly.

"Alright. I'm all yours."

"It's about Hana. Well, not about _Hana_. But about you and Hana."

Yuki hadn't been as cheerful as her usual self from the start of the interaction, but that fact was made more evident to Leiko when Hana's name crossed her lips. It wasn't quite something Yuki did, or a change in her expression, but moreso a change in the atmosphere. As if she'd somehow managed to forget, and Leiko had reminded her of the loss.

"What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but..."

Bitterness and anger tightened the corners of Yuki's mouth.

"It's fine. We just, uh..." She hesitated. Leiko stayed patient. "I was... tired. Of always being second to everything else. Of our relationship being something that she conceded to me, rather than something she wanted. Even though I know she loves me, I'm just... tired of loving me being a chore."

She pursed her lips to stop the tears slowly amassing under her eyelids.

"It just... hurts to give up, you know?"

"Yeah," Leiko breathed. "I get that."

She stood there for a moment, slightly unsure of how to proceed. She wished they'd known each other longer, so she could be a shoulder to cry on. The way things were, she wasn't quite sure she'd be the comfort she wanted to offer.

"I mean," Yuki continued, and Leiko gladly let her. "She couldn't stand to go to your goddamn wedding with me! That's just... That isn't even about me! If it's so awful to be seen together with me that she'd rather be late to _Akio's wedding_ , then what the hell am I even doing with her?"

Yuki stopped to catch herself, smoothing out her pained expression by passing a hand over her face.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "This isn't your problem."

Leiko gave a small smile, something compassionate and warm.

"You're fine. Go on."

Yuki swallowed around the lump in her throat, nodding her thanks.

"I just... Seven years, Leiko. I spent seven years trying to fix her. Trying to be the thing that would finally make her open up, stop lying to herself. Accept that she can feel feelings, and that's okay. Accept that she can get attached, and that's not the end of the world. Seven years, desperately trying to be the person that would convince her to commit to someone. Clinging to her to show her that it didn't matter what she did: I wasn't giving up on her. I wasn't going to let myself be pushed away."

"And what for? To be stood up on the most important day in the life of two of the most important people in her life? To be in the way of her presence there? She was so scared of appearing committed to me that she almost missed such an important event. I just... I can't deal with that. Not anymore. Seven years..."

She gestured the dropping of something she held in both of her hands; her tears flowed free as if released.

"Ploof. Down the drain. Just like that. She gets what she wants. She wins. I'm done."

Yuki wiped her tears with the palm of her hand, and released a sob hidden in a sigh. She stayed silent for a moment, but the words were begging to be let out. They twisted her mouth painfully.

"I'm just so scared..."

Silence hung in the air for a single, agonizing second as Yuki considered the possibility.

"What if she can never find happiness?"

Leiko's eyes widened softly.

"That's really scary, isn't it?" she murmured.

Yuki nodded meekly. She put a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob.

Leiko took a step forward. Slowly, she opened her arms in an offer, sincere and warm. Yuki took a second to decide before she accepted the comfort, and Leiko softly wrapped her arms around her.

"Yeah, I get it," she breathed. "It's terrifying."


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Akio pushed open the door to the room he shared with Leiko to find her sat on their bed. She was facing the window with her back to him, and didn't turn around when she heard him come in. He made his way to her side of the bed and noticed her red eyes, even if she'd done a good job of drying her cheeks.

He sat at her side.

"Leiko? Is everything alright?"

She nodded.

"Yeah."

He trusted her. She plopped her head down on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her.

"How'd your talk with Hana go?" she asked.

He made a face.

"You know her."

"Better, now," Leiko admitted.

Akio waited patiently for an explanation.

It came.

"I talked to Yuki. She told me why she broke up with Hana. It was... a long time coming."

Leiko's eyes shone with a pain she understood deeply, but wasn't hers. Akio squeezed her against himself lightly.

"I believe that. Hana was never the most affectionate person. She was never good about keeping in touch, even when Yuki tried her hardest. I imagine the whole being late to our wedding thing might have sealed the deal."

Haru had told him all about Yuki's thoughts on the matter, looking for advice. Akio had simply advised to not get involved. This wasn't the first time Hana had stood her girlfriend up, and he had suspected it wouldn't be the last. He was wrong, although not quite in the way he'd have wanted to be.

Leiko just nodded. They sat in silence for a little while. He calmed the sharp sadness in her chest, but the fact that he could simultaneously revived it.

"I really get her, you know. She tried so hard to make it work. But in the end, she felt like she just couldn't. And even then, when it's all said and done..."

She felt her eyes sting as they filled with tears. Akio watched them reflect the room.

"The thing that hurts her the most is the fact that she never managed to heal Hana. She's scared that Hana will never find peace."

Softly, slightly, silently, Akio's heart broke. Yet, warmth spread in his chest, because he understood. He turned towards her to bring Leiko against his chest, and she nestled herself in the same place she always did, just against his heart.

"Oh, darling," he hummed.

She nuzzled her face in the folds of his shirt, forehead and nose against his chest, and stared at the nothing that stood between them.

"We have to help her."

Akio buried his nose in her hair.

"I would love to. But it isn't really our place to get involved in their relationship. They're adults, and they've made their decision."

Leiko didn't argue. She thought. He waited, either for the silence to stretch, or for her to break it.

"Do you really believe Hana doesn't want to be with Yuki?" she asked.

"No. Not for one second."

And if there was someone in this world who truly knew Hana, even everything she tried to hide, it was Akio. Leiko knew that. It comforted her.

"Then we need to make her realize that she needs to fight for it. That she needs to go back to Yuki and commit."

"That's going to be difficult. People don't change that easily. Especially not Hana."

Leiko rose lightly, so both of their faces would be at the same height. She stared into her husband's eyes.

"Well, I managed to change you, didn't I?"

He smiled, leaning into a kiss.

"You did."

She smiled against his.

"Then it shouldn't be impossible."

* * *

The smell of smoke filled the air for a moment, before being washed away by the wind. Hideaki commented, without ever turning around:

"You're like a teenager hiding from their parents."

Hana took a drag from a long, slender pipe. She took the time to blow the smoke away before answering.

"I didn't feel like being nagged."

"You thought he'd nag you? He's our leader, not your father."

Hana scoffed.

"Come on. This is Akio we're talking about here."

Hideaki gave a light chuckle as only concession. His focus wasn't on the book in his hand anymore, but he didn't close it. He knew Hana preferred that they both pretend their attention was elsewhere.

"Come to think of it," he mused, "I haven't seen you with a pipe between your teeth in, what? Seven years?"

Of course, Hana got the implication. Of course, it wasn't coincidence, but she appreciated he pretended it was. She took another drag.

"Hm. Just about."

He let silence sit for a moment, just in case she wanted to fill it somehow. The bustling of Dundorma's port was his only answer.

"You kept the pipe all this time?"

Hana paused.

"Yeah."

"But you didn't touch it."

"No."

Hideaki smiled. He closed his book and stood straight. As he passed Hana on his way off of the ship, he put a warm hand on her shoulder, but didn't look at her.

"I'm going to go for a walk around town. We haven't been here in a while. It's nice to have a little time off, don't you think?"

She stuck the pipe between her teeth and nodded. He lifted his hand and continued on his way.

"You should get off the boat. Dundorma is a big town. Besides, if she was looking for you, she'd have found you cooped up in here first thing."

"Second," Hana corrected.

Hideaki smiled.

"My bad."

She listened to him leave. Alone, she looked up to clear skies she could easily remember heavy and ominous. She blew a cloud so it would hide the sun.

* * *

Yuki had finished drying her tears, and gotten back to work. Not a half hour later, she heard footsteps approaching again.

"Yuki!"

Worry sounded, underlying, in Haru's tone. She turned around to face him, smile glued to her face.

"Hi, Haru. Is this Yuki visitation day for the Aces or something?"

He smiled shyly, scratching his neck.

"Yeah, Leiko was just here, wasn't she? But I sort of... wanted to check on you myself."

Not that he'd believed Leiko wouldn't tell them the truth about the situation, it's just that he wanted to make up his own opinion. Yuki's smile toned down into a small, grateful thing.

"That's very kind of you," she said.

Haru felt his cheeks redden. He looked away for a second, before steeling himself and turning back to Yuki.

"It's nothing. I know you two hav– _had_ been together for a while, so it's natural to want to make sure that you're okay."

Yuki pretended she didn't notice the misstep, even if it viciously clawed a hole in her chest. Instead, her smile grew softly.

"I'm fine. Or, at least, I'll be fine in time. Thanks for worrying."

Of course, he had noticed her puffy eyes, but he elected not to comment. There was no point in pushing her, especially since he didn't have any idea what to do to help her anyway. And he was sure she was right: she'd be fine, in time. If experience had proven anything to him, it was that no one suffers forever.

"If there's anything I can do..." he tried.

"You're fine," she assured. "This is fine."

Her smile sent warmth to pool in his chest. It contrasted strangely with the worry and sadness that sat there ever since he'd learned that Hana and Yuki had separated. Of course, he knew it wasn't the same sort of relationship at all, but it had still reminded him of a possible world in which Akio and Leiko were somehow apart, and he knew he couldn't even imagine the amount of pain that would cause a person.

And Hana might not show it, but he was sure she wasn't as fine as she said she was. She wasn't as untouchable as she'd tried to make him believe.

That's why he had decided to come and check on Yuki. But now that it was all said and done, he didn't quite know what to say or do. He stood there, and she stood silent watching him. Waiting, maybe.

"Should I, uh... should I go?"

The last thing he wanted was to be a bother. Yuki shook her head softly.

"You can stick around if you want. I'm just gonna keep working on this."

She gestured to pieces of a Charge Blade strewn on a table. Haru recognized a phial, blackened and burned, and the mechanism allowing it to be used in the wielding of the weapon. He gaped.

"Is that damage from the Fatalis fight?"

"Oh, no. Well, it was in this sort of state after the fight, but I'd repaired it. This is the result of a bit of an... ambitious trial. I tried to use stuff from the Fatalis to make the energy burst on this baby a bit more lethal, but the materials couldn't take it too well. I'm trying to find a way to make it less hard on the pieces, with the same sort of damage output. I think I've got the solution, but it requires a bit of delicate tinkering, so I've been working on this for a dozen hours."

Yuki gestured and demonstrated as she explained, and Haru's attention was caught completely.

"You modify your own weapon?" he asked.

She chuckled.

"Is it that strange? I mean, of course there's not much in the way of tinkering to do on a Sword and Shield, but why should I restrict myself to the way the blacksmith made my blade?"

"Because the alternative is dangerous?"

"It's fine, I know what I'm doing. Besides, this is a hell of a lot safer than stabbing a Frenzied Fatalis' head from the inside," Yuki noted, smirk folding her lips.

"I didn't really have much of a choice," Haru countered.

Hearing talk of his exploit always made him a bit uncomfortable, because he knew for a fact he would have never been in a position for heroics were it not for the seven other Hunters who'd faced down the Fatalis with him. He didn't feel he had any more credit than them in the victory.

Yuki just stared at him, amused.

A handful of seconds later, she turned back towards the table and got to work. As she fiddled around, she commented:

"I'm not gonna be great company, though, if you want to stick around."

Haru shook his head.

"I don't mind."

It didn't sit right with him to leave her alone, anyway. So he stood at the side of the table and watched Yuki work intently. She seemed to forget about things for a moment, focused on the task at hand as she expertly worked ore and monster materials.

Minutes passed in this comfortable bubble of silence before Yuki paused, tools hanging halfway between movements.

She pursed her lips, as if trying to trap the words in. It didn't work.

"I know I'm gonna regret asking you this."

She paused while there was still time to back down. Haru waited.

She didn't turn to look at him.

"How is she?" she asked.

Haru hesitated.

"She's... fine? She says she is, anyway. She spends a lot of time cleaning her Gun. More than usual. I think it's because she wants to be left alone."

Yuki squeezed her eyes shut and bit down on her lip.

"That idiot. Tell me you aren't letting her isolate herself."

"We... try. She doesn't always make it that easy. Besides, none of us want to really bother her."

Yuki set her hands down, clutching her tools too hard. She stared at the dismantled pieces on the table.

"Bother her. You need to bother her. That girl needs to be _bothered_. Loving people bothers her. You can't give a shit about her saying she wants to be alone. That's when she hurts the most, and she'll never ask for help. She'll just sit there in silence and suffer. She..."

She stared for a second too long at the dismantled pieces of her heart. Yuki let go of the tools to hold the bridge of her nose, even though it was her chest that felt like it was going to rend.

"I can't do this..."

Her tone was sharp, just short of a whimper. She wasn't angry; she hadn't been angry for days. But something ate at her heart, slowly, every second of every day since she'd ended things.

Yuki took a deep, slightly shaky breath.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. Can you just... can you just go? I need a minute."

Haru nodded.

"Sure. Don't uh... don't hesitate if you need me, okay?"

His voice croaked because he spoke around the lump in his throat.

He watched her nod slowly and backed away silently, carefully, as if the wrong move could break her. He closed the door behind him, but the sound of the door latch couldn't quite cover the soft _thump_ from inside the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

"Hideaki!"

He turned to face Leiko, who finished jogging up to him.

"Where's Hana?" she asked.

"On the ship."

Leiko shook her head.

"I just checked there."

"In the broken tower?"

"I went straight there after I didn't find her on the ship."

Hideaki shrugged. Leiko looked worried. She chewed on her bottom lip absentmindedly.

"I need to talk to her."

"You too?" the Lancer questioned.

The Hammer wielder nodded.

"Yeah. I talked to Yuki. We've got to do something about them."

Hideaki raised an eyebrow.

"You're going to have a hard time. We're talking about Hana, here."

Leiko quit biting her lip and stared into Hideaki's eyes with a fierce determination. She felt the flames lick at her ribs.

"I helped Akio. Yuki can fix Hana."

The Lancer crossed his arms over his chest, halfway between lightly amused and stern.

"People aren't changed by others, Leiko. Don't throw yourself recklessly into a situation that isn't yours. You'll only end up hurting others, or yourself."

The shift in tone caught Leiko off guard. She paused. She tried to recall another time where Hideaki had lectured her in any way, and could only remember his silent comforts.

"... You sound like Akio," she noted.

He tilted his face lightly as only acknowledgement. The flames in her chest receded slightly. She made a face.

"We can't just leave things as they are, though. You said it yourself: we're talking about Hana, here. If we don't do anything, nothing is ever going to change. She'll be miserable forever."

"You're right that something must be done, but I don't think we can be the ones to do it."

Leiko took a moment to think.

"Yuki can't do it. Hana won't do it. Who?"

Hideaki uncrossed his arms to run a hand through his hair, a gesture Leiko had seen him execute a thousand times while hunched over a difficult problem. She smirked at the comparison.

"This is a difficult situation. It has been for six years," he admitted.

"Six?"

The Lancer nodded. He took a moment to formulate the thought, wondering how much he could, or should say.

"Hana was never the most loving, romantic person, and she was never so willing to settle down, but Masato's injury definitely didn't help. Yuki and her spent a lot of time alone together in the months of his recovery. That's when we knew that she was going to stick around, but Hana never really wanted to admit it."

He shrugged.

"These issues aren't exactly from yesterday, and I don't think Hana is generally unhappy in her life. But you're right that she is miserable about Yuki leaving her, as she should be."

"Damn right she should be. That girl deserves much better than how Hana has been treating her."

It wasn't quite anger that hovered in Leiko's throat, but it was close. She wasn't bitter, either, as she had no place to be, but something in her wanted to beat some sense into the Ace Gunner. She doubted it would work, but maybe it'd make her feel better.

"You're quite passionate about this all of a sudden," Hideaki commented. "Whatever did Yuki tell you?"

"It wasn't quite what she told me. More so how she felt."

Something that still sat at the bottom of her stomach, the echoes of a sharp pain, the memories of what could have been.

"I get her, I've been there. I want to help."

Something about the unshakable nature of Leiko's determination settled the doubts in Hideaki's mind. He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.

"Maybe it's time Hana get her shit together."

The swear caught Leiko off guard: she gave Hideaki a look, half surprise, half steeled resolve.

"Damn right."

* * *

There was something pleasant about having dinner in the Commons, surrounded by other hunters. For Leiko, it reminded her of her beginnings, when she could finally afford actual food with the money from her hunts, instead of just eating whatever some caravan had to offer. Getting back on her feet without anyone to provide for her had never felt as good as she'd imagined considering the circumstances, but she made those days good out of spite. She made friends, partnered up for a couple quests, and while those generally weren't relationships that lasted, she'd cherished them just the same. Or had tried to fill a hole in her chest with them. Even hindsight couldn't really make up her mind on which it was.

She lost her stare somewhere in the bend of Akio's shoulder as she thought, unaware. He chatted idly with Hideaki.

"Did you visit Misao yet?" Akio inquired.

"Not yet, I'll go tomorrow. We got here too late."

Akio nodded while he chewed a mouthful of meat, and swallowed before he answered:

"Alright. Do tell her and her boys hello from me."

"She had another daughter as well. I'm looking forward to meeting the child, I've been told she's the prettiest baby in the world."

"I'm sure she would say that."

Hideaki had a small chuckle. Somewhere along the way, Leiko's attention had been brought back to the conversation, so she asked:

"Who are we talking about?"

"Misao," Hideaki said, "An old sweetheart of mine."

"Hideaki's a home wrecker?"

"We're just friends, now. Her husband is a good man, so I have no regrets about leaving her to find someone else. I chose to be a Hunter, and all she wanted was to settle down and have a family, so in the end, we both got our happy endings."

Akio felt a leg move to rest against his. The ghost of a smile passed on his face, and his stare rested on his wife's face for a second. She didn't even turn to look at him. She kept her eyes on Hideaki and looked like she was considering the possibility.

"That's still a bit sad," she said.

Hideaki shrugged.

"I don't see it that way. We still deeply care for each other, but we both know we could never be together. She is head over heels in love with her husband, and he's a great father. I couldn't wish anything better for her."

"Don't you ever wonder what could have been?"

"Of course I do. But that doesn't mean I regret my choice. My passion is still in biology and hunting, and I'm glad I followed my dreams."

Leiko rested her chin on the palm of her open hand, elbow on the table. She intertwined her leg a little bit more with her husband's. He watched the shadow of the possibility of a regret pass in her eyes, a flicker in her fire. A single second of remorse. She blinked, and it disappeared.

"For what it's worth, I think you made the right choice."

Hideaki smiled, thankful.

"Me too."

Silence settled, a welcome lull in the conversation while Leiko met eyes with Akio. He communicated in his look everything a smile would have on any other person. Hers, in response, sent warmth along her spine.

It was then that Haru popped up at the side of the table, looking over all assembled. Noticing one missing, he asked:

"Where's Hana?"

Shrugs all around.

"I haven't seen her since this afternoon," Akio specified.

"Maybe she's in a tavern, trying to drown her worries away."

Haru's brows creased at the tone. It was matter-of-factly, neutral in a way that Leiko only spoke when bitter. He didn't quite know how to smooth this unexpected tension, so he just questioned it:

"Is Hana that kind of drinker?"

Leiko shrugged.

"Anyone can be that kind of drinker with the right opportunity."

The Cadet didn't answer. He stood there for a couple seconds, uncomfortable, before Hideaki reached out and gestured for him to sit with them.

"Have you eaten, Haru? Come sit down."

Haru gladly took the out and obeyed. From the corner of his eye, he noticed an unspoken conversation between Leiko and Akio that ended with the former pursing her lips, mildly apologetic. Or was she annoyed? He couldn't quite tell. He wished for a moment that he knew her as well as her husband; the reaction seemed very clear to him.

"No, I haven't eaten yet."

"You should," the Lancer encouraged.

Haru nodded absentmindedly.

"I'm worried about Hana," he finally admitted. It was like a weight off his chest for a second.

Akio turned to him and put a hand on his shoulder, and it made him feel just a little bit better.

"She just needs some time alone. She'll pull through, and we'll help her do it," he assured.

"And," Leiko added, "We'll get her back with Yuki."

"Really?"

Haru's tone was hopeful, if mildly disbelieving.

"I'll do my fucking best, that's for sure."

And he believed her. There was a fire in her eyes he'd only ever seen a handful of times, and he knew to trust in it. It steeled his resolve and put some of his doubts to rest.

"Okay. Let's do it."


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

The next morning, Leiko went around to look for Hana. When she was neither in her room, nor on the ship, nor at the broken tower (where she'd expected her sat on a piece of rubble the same she'd found Akio on that fateful night), Leiko went to every tavern, every inn she could find; any place she could think of where someone might get way too drunk and forget to go home. When that wasn't fruitful either, the Hammer wielder went over to the Dragonseer's base of operations and asked around, but found no answers or Gunner there either.

So she went back to the Commons, found none of her team, wondered where Akio had gone, and plopped down on a seat wondering what she should do. She hadn't made any plans for the day, and if she couldn't talk to Hana or find Akio then any potential plan she could think of wasn't doable. She hadn't become a hunter because of her love of doing nothing, and a holiday left her feeling aimless and lost. She appreciated the let up in pressure, but not the idleness.

She settled on people-watching, for the time. Dundorma was a very different place when not under threat of an Elder Dragon, and lacked the scurry and tension she'd come to expect from it. It was still a busy place, a hub for Hunters, merchants and common folk alike, but the hustle and bustle felt more pleasant, if less organized. It felt like being at home, and not quite at the same time. Leiko enjoyed the feeling.

People came and went, until people became Hana and Leiko jumped to her feet and bee-lined towards the Gunner, who watched her come silently.

"Where were you?"

The tone wasn't aggressive or angry, it wasn't even worried. Hana seemed unsure of how to react.

"Outside?" she tried.

"I literally looked for you all over town. Haru was worried, when'd you leave?"

Hana raised an eyebrow, clearly confused at the barrage of questions, especially from Leiko.

"That's what I'm saying, I was outside of town. And Haru worries too much, we all know that. What's up with the sudden interrogation?"

Since her talk with Yuki, Leiko had gone from a deep sadness born in compassion, to bitterness at Hana's actions. Now, seeing the Gunner in front of her acting like nothing was wrong and everything was perfectly fine lit something like anger in her chest. She knew it shouldn't, that she had no right to be angry, but she couldn't smother the fire.

"I mean, you get broken up with by your girlfriend of seven years and then disappear for twenty hours and we're supposed to take this all in stride? Like, oh, it's totally fine, don't worry!"

Hana grit her teeth; Leiko noticed her jaw tightening. It was the only crack in her mask, and Leiko hated that Hana was this sloppy. She simultaneously wished that the Gunner would go back to being the excellent liar she was, and loathed that she'd been.

"Do I have to let everyone know where I am at all times now?"

"It'd be more fucking appreciated than disappearing without telling anyone."

Hana unslung the Gun from her shoulder and held it up, as if to demonstrate it's presence.

"I'm an adult. I have a Gun. I don't know what you think could've possibly happened."

Leiko opened her arms, half-demonstration, half-taunt, something of an exasperated explosion.

"Plenty of things! I got gored by a fucking Diablos in that fucking desert!"

She pounded the scar on her chest, as if to remind the Gunner that it existed.

"I'm not going to get gored by a Diablos. Get over yourself."

The fire in Leiko's chest roared and burned her throat in indignation at the implication. She resisted her every urge to punch Hana in the face.

"Get over myself? Oh, I'm sorry I worry about you and I don't think you're invincible, you fucking moron!"

The Gunner just stared at her. She knew it was the most effective tactic to make Leiko more irate in this moment, and the Hammer wielder knew she knew. There was nothing innocent or unaware about Hana's calm.

"God, you're such a fucking..." Leiko stopped herself just short of a couple of words she could never take back.

" _God dammit_ ," she tried again, "you're- fuck you!" but was too angry to continue.

Instead, she threw her hands up so she wouldn't throw them forward into Hana's nose, backed up, went around, and stormed off.

Left alone, Hana slung the Gun over her shoulder, and her jaw tightened.

* * *

She sat at a bench and got something to eat. An hour later, Akio walked in, spotted her, and walked over. He saw her briefly consider the possibility of running away, but decide otherwise. His brow furrowed lightly.

"Hello, Hana," he said as he sat down.

She nodded as only greeting, absentmindedly fiddling with her empty glass on the table. She waited for questions, but silence settled and remained. Akio smelled smoke on her clothes. He opened his mouth to say something, but found all of the words inappropriate and shut it. Anything he could think to say would either make Hana shut down more heavily than she had, or leave. He resolved to be a silent companion, if he couldn't be comfort.

He spotted Yuki spotting them, and immediately felt Hana get up; there was a stutter in the gesture and the cutlery on the table clinked. A flash of hurt passed in Yuki's eyes, and, instead of carrying on her way, she immediately changed trajectories and bee-lined to intercept the Gunner.

In Hana's eyes flashed pure panic, and Akio wasn't sure if he was going to have to physically stop her from bolting away. Instead, she froze when Yuki came up like a storm.

"Where were you? You got hurt, how?"

Hana stood and crossed her arms under her chest. Akio and Yuki knew her tells.

"What makes you think I got hurt?"

"Don't be an idiot, Hana, I can fucking see it. Just tell me."

Akio recognized his wife in Yuki's outburst, like flames out of her throat – although she felt more like a blizzard, true to her name. Overwhelming and unrelenting, snowflakes like tiny blades carried by a flurry against Hana's face.

"I'm fine."

She'd tried for the tone to be sharp.

Yuki's stare ran over her ex-girlfriend, up, down, up again, and down one more time – until she stopped at a spot, just over her right hip, and then snapped back up to Hana's eyes.

"I can see it. Tell me how it happened," she ordered.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Hana! You– goddamn, I know you got hurt! Just fucking admit it!"

And Akio could see the bold-faced lie, too. He might not have the same perceptiveness as Yuki, but there was struggle in Hana's standing, as if her right side was weaker – and that, unlike the Gunner, didn't lie.

She stood there, as if hoping that silence and expressionlessness would save her. Yuki stared right back at her, unmoving, unshakable and relentless, perhaps hoping that her storm would finally erode Hana's walls – perhaps looking for a single chip in the stone, a single crack in the fortress. Searching for a weakness she'd thrown herself at for the past seven years.

Seven years. She felt like a minute more would kill her.

Yuki grabbed Hana's wrist without a word more – it was a sharp gesture, quick, and Hana didn't have the time to slip out of her grasp. And when Yuki pulled her with her, forcing their strides to align, the Gunner just followed.

Silently and without a fight, she let herself be led along the streets and to Doctor Shuu's dwelling. In front of the door, Yuki knocked – the moment it opened, she shoved the Gunner inside and shut the door behind her.

To her left, Hana heard a soft, quiet _thump_. She pretended not to.

Shuu's surprise had quickly passed, and he gestured the Gunner to a bench. She sat and unbuckled her belt, pulling away the cloth on her hip to reveal a large gash, fairly short but quite wide. The bleeding had been reduced to a minimum by a hasty cauterization. Shuu swallowed, for now, reprimands he knew would fall on deaf ears.

Instead, he quickly got to work cleaning the wound and then stitching it. He wrapped Hana's waist in bandages, and she took that as permission to leave – he stopped her, hand on her shoulder and a stern look on his face.

"An encounter with a Brute Tigrex, I take it. The gash is very recognizable."

Hana nodded.

"Don't cauterize the wound like that next time. It makes it more likely to get infected, and you won't bleed out in the time it takes for you to get back to town, especially not with your team with you."

She didn't correct him. He kept going:

"Just don't move around too much, or get the wound wet. You are absolutely forbidden from going out on a hunt until at least a week has passed. If there are any problems, come to me immediately. Come back in a week either way, and I will take the stitches out. Understood?"

Again, the Gunner nodded. She moved against the hand on her shoulder, eyes on the door. Shuu let her go, and she left without a look back or a thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

"Babe! There you are," Leiko exclaimed as she walked to her husband's side and crashed softly against his chest.

He closed his arms around her and appreciated her warmth and the scent of her hair.

"Hello. Were you looking for me?"

"Sort of," her words were lightly muffled. "I was looking for Hana, and then I eventually found her, but I couldn't talk to her like I wanted 'cause I was too pissed off."

"So you weren't looking for me," he corrected, amused.

"Well I was. I'm always looking for you if you're not with me," she smirked, "you should know that by now."

"Oh. Of course."

She stood in his embrace and revelled in his enveloping presence for a handful of seconds. Any anger or bitterness was wiped away from her mind, taken away by a soft drizzle which softly quenched her flames.

"I love you," she muttered.

He lay a kiss on top of her head.

"I love you," he answered.

They stood like this for a moment, content to be in the presence of one another.

Eventually, reality caught back to them, and Akio remembered what he'd just witnessed – and his promise.

"I saw Hana. She got hurt in her escapade outside of the city, and Yuki dragged her somewhere – to see Doctor Shuu, I assume."

Leiko snapped her gaze from nothingness to her husband's face.

"She got hurt?! That stupid asshole!"

"Nothing too serious. It didn't look like she was on death's door, at least, and I assume the Doctor will have fixed her right up."

"What if she didn't go to the Doctor, though? What if she just ran the fuck away and is now frolicking stupidly in the land of denial and self-pity – also known as _the fucking desert I got gored in_?"

Hurt flashed in Akio's eyes, an echo of the memory of her unconscious form whimpering in pain besides him, and Leiko immediately regretted having said those words. She squeezed him against herself.

"Hana might be prone to underestimating her own pain, but she isn't suicidal," Akio countered after regaining his countenance. "She will let herself be seen by Shuu if she's shoved right in front of his nose, which I'm sure is exactly what Yuki has done."

"She better have. But- wait," Leiko realized, "Yuki brought her to Shuu?"

Akio nodded.

"Dammit! That must've fucked her up, I gotta go talk to her."

She separated from her husband slightly reluctantly, and immediately started jogging away.

"You should go make sure that Hana is really okay!" she suggested as she left.

"Alright."

* * *

Leiko found Yuki hunched over pieces of her Charge Blade, staring at them with unmoving hands.

"Hey," she tried in a soft voice.

Yuki turned to face her, braid half-unmade and smile shallow.

"Hi."

Leiko's heart fell to her stomach.

"I, uh... I heard about Hana. She's okay now, I assume?"

Yuki gave a shrug, the corner of her lips pulled by bitterness.

"I don't know. I brought her to Shuu, but for all I know she might've jumped out the fucking window to escape healing."

She had a chuckle, painful and dry.

"Wouldn't be the first time she's done something like that," she added.

"Really?"

The tone wasn't disbelieving, more so a questioning of certainty. Yuki sighed.

"Well... it wouldn't be the first time, no. But it would be the first time in a long time. Now, she's usually good about not being in a position to get herself killed," she reflected. "But with things the way they are... I mean, how the hell did she even get caught by surprise? Because that's the only way she could've gotten hit."

"Yeah. Hana isn't really one to get surprised by a monster."

"Until now, apparently," Yuki said.

She ran her fingers through her hair, staring at the floor in front of her as if she could find her answers there.

"I shouldn't have gone up to her. I shouldn't have talked to her, and I should've let Akio handle it. He's not stupid, he would've spotted the wound too, and she probably would have ended up going to see Shuu anyway. I just... shouldn't have gotten involved."

Her hand fell to her side, and her face angled towards the ceiling.

"I need to stop getting involved," she concluded.

"That's not easy," Leiko empathized.

A bitter smile tugged at Yuki lips.

"It's really not."

Again, the Hammer wielder wished she could be of more comfort to this clashing portrait of fragility and strength. And as she watched Yuki fight with every ounce of herself the urge to run back to a person whom she couldn't help nearly enough, Leiko reconsidered everything that she had wanted to do.

This wasn't her, and Hana wasn't Akio; their reconciliation wasn't what was needed to help both of them. It suddenly felt unfair and cruel to try to shove Yuki back into this situation she tried so hard to escape, this brokenness she tried so hard to fix. For seven years, she'd tried to glue back together the pieces of a glass woman, cutting herself at every turn. It wasn't time to give her more glue: it was time to bandage her fingers.

So Leiko stood, unsure of how to proceed. Yuki's stare went back to her for a second, and she gave a tiny smile.

"Thanks for listening, Leiko," she said. "You're very easy to talk to. I get why Akio fell in love with you."

Leiko mirrored the smile.

"I try."

Before continuing, she weighed her words for a second, unsure that they would have the intended effect, trying to gauge how she would have reacted to them at a time where her love was similarly broken.

"We'll take care of her," she said, resolve sounding in her voice. "We'll take care of everything, so don't worry. I'll watch her like a hawk, she'll get so sick of seeing my face that she'll want to rip it off."

The smile softly grew on Yuki's face, grateful and warm. She nodded.

"Sure."

A smirk tugged at Leiko's lips.

"You don't sound very convinced."

Yuki shrugged lightly.

"Hana can be hard to keep an eye on."

"Don't underestimate me."

She raised her scarred eyebrow, dubitative but amused.

"Alright."

Leiko was satisfied. She walked towards Yuki, glancing at the table behind her, eager to change the subject.

"Watcha working on, there?" she asked.

"Just a little upgrade. I've been at it for a couple hours now, I'm almost done."

"Cool. You're looking for a bit more lethality, I presume?"

"Yeah. Can't let all these Fatalis parts go to waste."

The natural flow of the conversation would have had Leiko mention, then, Hana's new Gun made out of those very parts. Instead, she let a second of silence pass and commented:

"Did I ever tell you how badass your sword is?"

"If I recall correctly, it's, like, the second thing you've ever told me."

"Good. Because, damn. I've never seen anything like it before."

It was a blade of bright blue and gold, something right out of a fairy tale. The sort of weapon easy to imagine being wielded by a magical knight, or the chosen one tasked with saving the world. Arguably, Yuki was one of those things.

"Well, that would make sense, considering I designed it and helped make it."

"You designed your own weapon?! Who's the smith who let you do that?"

Hunters were known to have... less than doable weapon plans, and few and far between were the blacksmiths who were willing to deal with that sort of creativity. Leiko, for example, had never gotten her Hammer on which the scales of a Seregios formed a roaring lion's face: arguably, she largely preferred having a well-balanced weapon.

Yuki had a knowing smile, playful.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Leiko shook her head.

"No, seriously. I love mine way too much to ever willingly switch it up. That Hammer's weight and momentum are written in my bones."

"That's the spot you wanna be at," Yuki agreed.

"Right. So I'm just wondering who you bribed to make yours."

Yuki chuckled, and it made the room a bit brighter.

"Ha! Bribe isn't quite the word I'd use. Let's just say he owed me a favour, and he was happy to make this baby for me."

She proudly tapped the dismantled handle laying on the table.

"Well, he did good, and so did you," Leiko concluded.

"Thanks."

And just like that, Leiko's mission was accomplished. Seeing Yuki smile and banter was a victory; sure, the pain was going to come back eventually, but for now she'd successfully pushed it out of Yuki's mind, and that was enough.

"Alright," she gestured to the table, "you finish that up and then we'll go grab a bite to eat. Deal?"

"Works for me. I'll be a minute," Yuki finished, turning back towards the table.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

The clinking of armour grabbed Hideaki's attention. He popped his head in the door of the room Leiko and Akio shared, and found the latter donning his signature blue set, dual blades sitting on a chair besides him.

"Going out on a hunt?" the Lancer asked to get his attention.

He stepped into the room, and Akio turned to face him.

"Hana has left town again and a Seregios has been spotted nearby, so I'm going to go and bring her back."

"Hm," Hideaki acknowledged. "Don't. I'll go."

Akio stopped halfway between movements, eyebrow lightly raised.

"Are you sure?"

The Lancer nodded.

"Alright," Akio agreed.

Hideaki stepped back out of the room and set to his. It took him ten minutes to don his armour and grab his Lance, and he was off and out of Dundorma's gate by fifteen.

It wasn't difficult to find the Ace Gunner: she'd treaded close to the wall and made no efforts to cover her tracks. She sat a while out of the gates to the city, but up against Dundorma's wall - Hideaki guessed that something was wrong, else Hana would have gone further out, as if she could run away from her demons.

She watched him approach without saying anything. As only greeting, he commented:

"Not smoking?"

"Hm."

Hana reached into her belt to produce the broken pieces of her pipe. Hideaki didn't ask for an explanation.

"You didn't buy a new one?"

The Gunner shrugged.

"Haven't gotten around to it."

And silence settled. Hideaki turned to watch the horizon, attentive.

"I went and visited Misao," he said. "She had a daughter since the last time we met; very bright child. She has the same smile as her mother."

Even without acknowledgement, Hideaki knew he had the Gunner's attention. He continued:

"And her boys are as happy as ever. The littlest one even wants to become a Hunter! He'll break his mother's heart, but his father is proud of his ambitions. They're all fine, though: they're happy."

He paused.

"And so am I."

He heard Hana shift slightly.

"Good," she said.

"I'm glad I decided to pursue my dreams, so that she could do hers. Misao deserves nothing less than this happiness," Hideaki continued.

He turned his head to Hana, who nodded, gaze stubbornly stuck to the horizon. She could feel he wasn't done, and he knew she wished he was. However, she also knew that he wasn't one to be deterred.

"Being without her is a commitment I made long ago. And I stand by it, and probably always will," he finished.

Hana's eyes flashed with realization, and the Lancer knew his point had been made.

"You committed to being alone. And you're happy," Hana mused.

"I committed to never being with Misao," Hideaki corrected. "I am single because no one else has come along to make me feel the same way."

The Gunner looked at him, unsure. He started doubting she had gotten what he had wanted to communicate. She glanced down at the broken pipe in her hand. He let silence take its course for a moment, leaving her space to question him. She didn't.

"My point, Hana," he resolved to make clearer, "is that letting her go is just as much of a commitment as staying with her. You can choose to be tied to her, or you can choose to be tied to the lack of her for the rest of your life. It's one or the other."

Anxiety passed in Hana's eyes, a small amount of panic she quickly suppressed. Then, she looked up, back to the horizon, and started getting up.

"We'll talk about this later," she said.

"I've said what I wanted."

"Whatever. Something's coming."

And so it was; like a golden flash, the Seregios landed besides them in a flurry of sharp feathers. Hana picked up her Gun with a grunt, and Hideaki unsheathed his Lance just in time to intercept a bite with his shield. Two shots lodged themselves in the Seregios' hide, and it let out a scream.

Its attention snapped to the Gunner, and it charged at her with a shrill roar - she rolled out of the way, to her left, but Hideaki saw her right leg give way slightly as she got back to her feet.

"Are you hurt?!" he asked.

Hana grit her teeth.

"It's nothing."

"Now really isn't the time, Hana."

The Lancer rarely lost his calm, but recklessness in the name of pride during a hunt always gave his tone a growl.

"Fine!" the Gunner sidestepped a swipe, "I'm hurt!"

Hideaki understood better now why Akio had wanted to bring Hana back into the safety of Dundorma's walls before this happened. In a flurry of steps, he rammed his Lance into the Seregios' side, trying to get its attention.

The sharp point of his weapon dug into the beast's soft flesh, lodging itself between the bend of two bones: the Seregios cried out and immediately turned to this greater threat with rage in its eyes. The Lancer's shield took the impact, and he turned his head to Hana.

"Now! Go!" he ordered.

But she didn't move. She brought her Gun back to firing position, and let loose five shots in quick succession.

"Hana!"

She ignored him. Instead, she established more distance between herself and the Seregios while she reloaded, then unleashed five more shots.

Hideaki's shield clang, clang, clanged as he took hit after hit, manoeuvring his Lance so it would stab flesh, time after time: wrestling with both taking hits and trying to keep the Seregios' attention. In a break between attacks, he positioned himself between the beast and the Gunner while she kept unleashing shots, precise, mechanical. They all embedded themselves in the Seregios - the last one flew truest and pierced its eye in a splatter of blood. The beast was sent reeling, almost collapsing on its back before suddenly it sprung up and took to the skies.

It was not escaping; instead, it plunged talons first towards Hana, too fast for her wounded self to completely avoid the impact. Of course, there was a screech but no pain as Hideaki had moved in to protect his fellow Ace - however, the momentum of it all shoved them both back a couple paces with the clanging of armour. They regained their footing and, under the cover of Hideaki, Hana let loose a final shot, into the Seregios' throat - it died with a gurgle and a dull sound when it hit the ground.

Blood mixed with sand, and then blood mixed with blood.

It dripped down Hana's leg from her reopened wound. She looked down to her hip when she noticed, and made a face at the growing blood stain.

"That'll teach me to wear white," she commented.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

With a push from Hideaki, Hana stood in front of Shuu for the second time that day. He looked at her, stern but silent, and gestured her to the bench just as he had before. Similarly, she went and sat there. The cloth on her hip made a strange, sticky sound as she pulled it away from the wound – she didn't like that.

Blood had gorged the fabric, dripped down her leg and stained her greave in crimson. Shuu didn't comment. He got his instruments out and got to work taking the broken stitches out. Once that was done, he begun inspecting the wound more thoroughly. Hana watched as he pulled out fragmented pieces of a Seregios feather and set them aside.

She didn't make a sound as she was sewn back together, and without a word Shuu stood up and went to clean his instruments. Hana got up unsteadily and headed towards the door – the doctor spoke once she had her hand on the handle:

"If you get these stitches undone in the same way again, the skin will be too damaged for me to sew it back together. You'll have an open wound on your hip for weeks until it heals enough. If you go out on a hunt again, that is a very real risk, and you must stay aware of that. Don't do anything stupid. This wound isn't life-threatening, but it could quickly become so if it opens up again."

"Sure thing, doc."

And, without a break, she was gone.

Hana left a bloody footstep at every pace, her shoe squishing unpleasantly under her foot. She made her way to her room, taking the boot off before entering the building. She hopped on one foot until she finally reached her destination.

She changed and evaluated the damages: the clothes weren't ruined, but she had to wash them now or else they'd never be white again. Of course, this wasn't the first time she'd bloodied them, but she'd always managed to clean the mess thoroughly enough.

For that, she'd need water; she went out to grab a basin full of it, and hoisted it back to her room. She got to work, but the water quickly reddened, and she had to make the trip back out to change it.

Hana opened her eyes to pain. She'd hit her head on the cold floor, and her wound still radiated a sharp, burning throb, but she could focus on neither. It was, instead, the ache between her lungs, under her ribs and besides her spine that grabbed her attention – she felt like her heart was going to rend.

From up above, Yuki looked at her in wounded anger. Quickly, the sight was replaced by Leiko, who bent down and grabbed Hana by her shirt to bring her up. The Gunner's legs were unsteady, so the Hammer wielder supported her weight. As she begun dragging her back towards her room, she muttered through her teeth:

"You goddamn _fucking_ idiot."

Then, to Yuki: "Don't worry about the mess, I'll clean it up."

Yuki's steps fell in sync with theirs.

"I'll stay with her and make sure she doesn't try to do anything stupid again."

Leiko tensed up slightly.

"I'll go find Akio, he'll do it."

"That's okay," Yuki insisted. "I can stick around for a bit."

"Fine."

And so Hana let herself be brought back to her room, and sat on her bed. Her thoughts cleared when Leiko slammed the door behind herself and it sent echoes of pain bouncing in her skull. She tried to remove the black dots from her vision by blinking furiously.

Seconds passed until Hana was able to see again, but maybe she'd have rather stayed blind.

Yuki stood in the middle of the room, braid half-unmade and smile shallow, with bitterness tugging at the corners of her lips.

"You're making it _really_ hard to be broken up with, you know that?"

She didn't answer. Yuki blinked away a wave of pain.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" she asked. "You go and get mauled by whatever the fuck, and then the minute no one's looking at you you slip out into the desert again. You stay and fight when Hideaki's trying to buy you time to retreat, you lose two litres of blood, and then you just try to get to cleaning your clothes as if nothing happened? Surprise surprise, Hana, you can't strain yourself after bleeding out for half an hour."

She hadn't thought that the silence would hurt her this much. It dug deep creases in her cheeks.

"Why won't you ask for help? Why won't you reach out when you need it? Why must you always do everything alone? Aren't we good enough? Aren't we strong enough? Do you think so little of everyone that loves you that you'd rather pass out in a hallway than ask them to carry a basin of water for you? Why is it so difficult for you to just _ask_?"

It was half a question, half a plea. Hana couldn't look away. Silence widened the gap between them.

"I try," Yuki strained, "and I try and I try and I try, but you never reach out. I open up, and I stay by your side, and I just stand there, hoping that one day, you'll look at me and you'll say something. You'll go, 'Yuki, I need help', or 'I hurt', and I'll just finally be able to give you _something_. But you never do. I don't _want_ to leave you, but I just can't do this anymore. And yet, every time, I come back. The moment you get hurt, I rush back, hoping that this'll be the time when you let me help."

She snapped her gaze away from Hana and passed a hand over her face to wipe the pain from her features. Slowly, Yuki's shoulders were crumbling, and she thought maybe she wanted to scream, or to punch the Gunner, or to run away. But she did none of those things, and instead continued:

"I need to stop doing this. That's on me. But I suffer, Hana, and I worry all the time. Because I'm scared that even if you absolutely, positively, vitally need help, you won't ask for it. I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you. So please, _please_ , tell me that if anything happens, you'll go to Akio, or to Hideaki, or to Haru or Leiko, and you'll let them help you."

But Hana didn't answer. She stared at Yuki with a thousand storms in her chest, scraping at her ribs and wreaking havoc on everything she'd believed to be right.

"Just promise me that. It's fine if this is the last thing I ever tell you: just promise me that if you need it, you'll ask for help."

There were three seconds of unbearable silence.

"Okay."

Hana's voice rang like a gunshot in the room. For a moment, Yuki had feared she wouldn't be able to get even that. But now that the word had sounded, she found no satisfaction in it, and it hardly calmed what ate at her. Yet, she knew there was nothing more to gain from this interaction, from this situation.

So she retracted slightly, and as she left the room, she said:

"You should lay down. Maybe have a nap. Don't strain yourself, okay?"

There was no answer, but Yuki heard the rustling of sheets and chose to assume that Hana had listened. She softly closed the door behind her and moved to the side, to lay with her back against the wall. She looked up to the ceiling and quietly wiped the tears from her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

Hana opened her eyes to pain. This time, it was only the burning on her hip that captured her attention as she stared at the ceiling. She saw, in the corner of her eye, Hideaki sat reading a book. She didn't turn her head, and he presumably didn't notice that she had woken up.

It wasn't a struggle to keep the words in; it was a struggle to let them out.

"Is she happier without me?" Hana croaked.

Hideaki wasn't surprised. He closed his book and took off his reading glasses, setting both to the side.

"That depends," he said. "Are you going to continue stringing her along like you have for the past seven years, or are you going to actually treat her like she deserves?"

The Gunner pursed her lips, searching the ceiling for answers.

"I don't know."

"Then don't you dare get close to that woman. She's been through enough."

Hana's mask cracked. It was a single fissure, running along a slight frown. She let silence fall, as if weighing her options, or carrying accusations she knew to be deserved.

"I never wanted to hurt her."

"I know."

He paused.

"But you did."

The pain in her hip radiated along Hana's entrails and reverberated in her chest unpleasantly. She felt as if she was being incinerated from the inside.

"Maybe I should let her go."

The words hurt in a way she hadn't expected.

"Maybe," Hideaki repeated.

Hana reflected.

"You left Misao, and you don't regret it."

Hideaki leaned forwards slightly, placing a hand on his knee, and stared into his fellow Ace.

"I am happy, even without her. Are you?"

The Gunner stubbornly kept her eyes on the ceiling, as if trying to decipher a secret meaning in the wood's seams. She couldn't search her feelings for an answer because flames continued ravaging them.

Hideaki took the silence as his answer. He unfolded to stand, picked up his book and glasses, and left the room in four steps. Before he closed the door, he turned his head and said:

"You can't take forever to decide. At some point, you're going to have to commit to one or the other."

Hana thought she might suffocate on all of the smoke.

She exhaled it, but the burning in her chest remained. She didn't like the way the pipe felt in her hand, crooked and fragile, and the smoke had a slight aftertaste of glue. She'd have been better off just buying a new one.

There was a knock on the door – Akio. Hana didn't scramble to hide the pipe.

"Come in."

He walked in, platter full of food in hand. He, of course, immediately noticed the smell of smoke, and the pipe in Hana's hand. Silently, he lay the platter on the bedside table. She watched him and expected a lecture. It didn't come.

He looked out the window she stood besides. Her stare was drawn to his shoulder and the red scarf tied to it. He always wore it so proudly.

Hana took a drag from her pipe and blew smoke out of the open window.

"You couldn't imagine a world where you're separated from Leiko."

She'd commented quietly, as if she didn't want him to hear her. He tilted his face.

"I'd have a hard time," he conceded.

"You got married without even having known each other for two years."

"That doesn't really matter. We knew we were going to be committed to each other our entire lives. We went through the best and the worst together, and there is honestly no one in this universe I would rather spend the rest of my days with."

The scorching of Hana's insides resumed, painful. She burned her lungs with smoke to distract herself.

"How can you even make that decision?"

The tone bordered anger, irrational. Akio ignored it.

"Easily. She is strong, she is compassionate, she is as fierce as she can be gentle; she makes me feel like I can face anything as long as she is by my side. She is an unstoppable force. I admire her fire just as much as I care to quench it when it grows out of control. And when I hold her, I feel as if everything is right in the world. There is no one in this universe I would rather spend the rest of my days with."

Hana felt as if her ribs were shrinking and stabbing into her.

"That's not how that works! It doesn't matter how much you love a person, you're still giving them your entire lifetime!"

She hated the crumbling of her composure, and felt insulted that Akio remained perfectly calm. She hated that too.

"That is exactly how it works. We care for each other, no matter what. Anything could happen, and we would be prepared, because we have made that oath."

Hana squeezed the pipe between her fingers – she felt it weaken, crack where she'd hastily glued it back together.

"Just because you care doesn't mean you're willing to put your life on the line!"

"But you are."

Akio simply stated the obvious.

"You would die before you let anything happen to Yuki."

Hana's voice cracked:

"That's not the same thing!"

"Is death a lesser commitment than life with the one you love?"

Every statement was a punch – every truth piercing the veil Hana had carefully crafted to cover the world.

So Akio wouldn't be the one to destroy it, the Gunner set it aflame.

"It's easier! It'd give me a semblance of worthiness of her!"

His features softened and his heart ached. The admittance was more than he'd ever managed to get out of her.

"Hana," he called, gentle.

She set the pipe down and held her face in her hands to choke on regrets. He stepped forward to join her. Softly, he took her chin between his fingers and lifted her gaze to him.

"It's okay to be scared."

She looked away. He continued.

"But you can't run away forever, either. You love her, and I know you can make things right."

He didn't open his arms in an invitation, because he knew she wouldn't take it. Instead, he didn't wait for permission and gently brought her to him. She didn't resist, and he lay her head on his shoulder. He could feel her shaking lightly.

"I know you're scared of hurting her," he murmured. "But you're not going to."


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

Hana managed to keep her wounds closed all week. She found herself sat in Shuu's dwelling with the gash on her hip mostly closed off and only occasionally painful. He seemed satisfied with the results of his work as he took the stitches out, but they both knew the experience would still leave behind a nasty scar.

Hana felt like she was being pulled apart. The feeling didn't fade when there was a knock on the door – Yuki didn't wait to be answered and pushed on the handle to peek in. Their eyes met, and Hana couldn't look away.

"I'll be a minute," Shuu said, unbothered.

Yuki paused for a second, but didn't shut the door.

"That's okay," she assured. "My question's been answered."

Hana felt like her entire world was on fire. She wanted so much to simultaneously disappear and become the only thing in the universe.

"Wait," she blurted out instead.

And Yuki did. A couple of minutes, while Shuu finished taking the stitches out of the Ace Gunner and instructing her on the next step of the care for her wound. He watched them reunite on the other side of the door before Hana closed it behind her.

She found herself much too close to the woman she loved. Yuki noticed the discomfort and took a step back.

"I..." Hana begun.

Yuki shook her head.

"Let's not talk here."

Hana feared having the time to run away.

There were things she feared more than that.

She took point, and led Yuki along streets she knew by heart. Of course, she guessed their destination.

They climbed the steps of the broken tower quietly, a mere breeze upon these stairs they'd treaded a thousand times. Once at the top, Yuki turned to look over the view of the city dabbling in orange under the sunset.

Flames continued consuming Hana, and for a moment she thought she might leap off of the tower to escape this. She kept her feet firmly planted in the ground. That became a bit difficult when Yuki turned again to face her, the setting sun tracing her figure.

"So. What is it?" she asked, smile softly glued to her face.

It dug creases at the corners of her mouth, and Hana felt the tiny holes in her chest.

"I never wanted to hurt you," she said.

Yuki's smile widened and sunk deeper into her face, pained.

"I know."

She paused. Hana didn't want her to say it.

"But you did."

The Gunner took a breath.

"I know," she agreed.

This, Yuki hadn't expected. For Hana, it was a leap of faith. There was no stopping the fall, so she continued:

"I don't want to commit to a life without you."

She dug her feet deeper into the floor. She wasn't running away this time.

Yuki's smile fell and her eyes widened lightly – her shoulders fell, her breath got caught in her throat and she felt as if she was going to explode.

"I love you."

At that, Yuki finished crumbling. Hana felt as if her heart was going to rip itself out of her chest. There was a moment of silence in which they both got lost, in different directions, in different ways. Yuki resisted every instinct, every urge that enveloped her – she pushed against the wave and tried not to drown.

She walked forward and breached the distance between them under Hana's gaze. In front of her, she hovered in place.

"There's not," she choked out in a sob, "there's not a single reason I can think of right now to not run right back into your arms."

Hana felt hope like a blade in her chest.

"And that scares me," Yuki continued.

It twisted.

"Because," she suppressed a hiccup, "I spent so long suffering there. Trying, and trying, and trying to get these exact words out of your mouth. And now you're here, and you've said them, and you're doing the things that I always wished you did but – is it too late?"

She looked up, trying to meet Hana's gaze.

"I so very much want to throw myself at you, Hana. I _love_ you. But does that mean I should just crawl back to you the moment a sweet word comes out of your mouth?"

The words were sharp, and she heaved them as if they were a weight on her chest – as if she was trying to give herself room to breathe.

"I spent so long trying to be everything you wanted me to be, everything you needed me to be... I don't even know who I am anymore."

Hana's flames had faded – she was crushed under the weight of the ocean.

"I'm sorry."

Yuki took the words right out of her mouth. Hana wanted to take them back.

"Don't," she ordered.

She reached out, but stopped just short of Yuki's face.

"You are much more than this."

Tears rolled down Yuki's cheeks, and she couldn't help but to complete the gesture and wipe them off.

"You are much more than this," she repeated. "You are much more than me."

"Hana..."

The Gunner took a step back to break the embrace that hovered between them. She didn't break their shared gaze, but didn't watch her own reflection in Yuki's glassy eyes.

"Take your time. Take two days, or two months, or twenty years. The last thing I want you to do, Yuki, is to _suffer_."

 _Not anymore._


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10

Stars speckled the night sky when Yuki finally dried her tears.

She sat up when she heard footsteps up the stairs, and turned to face whoever was coming up. Haru's red head peeked up and they met eyes.

"Oh. Hi," he said.

She smiled. It sent sharp pain in her chest.

"Hi."

Haru broke their shared gaze to nestle his to the side, among the softly-lit buildings of Dundorma. He finished climbing the stairs and stopped there, unwilling to step forward.

"Seems our secret spot isn't so secret anymore," Yuki mused. "Did you come up here to be alone? I'm leaving, anyway."

"Uh... no. Don't, it's fine. It's just, uh..."

He reached back to scratch his neck, avoiding her gaze still. Yuki arched her scarred eyebrow.

"Well, Hana wasn't there to eat with us. And when Leiko asked people at the Commons if they'd seen you, they said they hadn't. So Leiko got worried, but Akio convinced her that you were probably fine and that you should probably be left alone, but I... still wanted to check for myself."

Yuki's smile grew warmer, softer, and she felt as if her ribs were digging into her heart.

"You're very sweet. But Akio's right, that man is much more perceptive and empathetic than he lets on – I just... need a bit of time on my own."

She paused, pursing her lips into a smile she never let fade.

"Things are a bit complicated. I, uh... I don't know. I need some time to think."

Haru's shoulders fell slightly, and he stared intently at the city's skyline. Yuki gathered herself and got up. Before passing him to exit, she stopped in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder, warm and comforting.

"Thanks for checking up on me anyway. It's good to know that people care."

He turned to look at her, unwilling to be rude, and his cheeks reddened slightly at her smile. He nodded, answering it in kind.

Softly, she brought him to herself as she finished passing her arm around him. She lay her chin in the bend of his shoulder, and he took a handful of seconds to wrap his arms around her and reciprocate the embrace. They stayed like this for a short while, until Yuki slowly broke the hug and took a step back. She smiled as goodbye, and then passed Haru and descended out of the tower and onto Dundorma's calm streets.

* * *

The sun crawled back through the night, and finally settled in bathing Dundorma in pink. A knock sounded on the door, and Leiko untangled herself from the sheets and Akio. She put some clothes on as she hobbled to the door and opened it to reveal Yuki.

"Good morning," she said.

"'Morning," Leiko yawned. "Something wrong?"

Yuki shook her head.

"No," she smiled. "I'm just going out on a hunt and was wondering if you'd like to join me."

"You bet your ass I'd like to join you. Gimme a minute to get armoured up and I'm there."

Yuki nodded, and Leiko closed the door and strutted to her armour, in a corner of the room. Akio groaned and the sheets rustled. As she set to donning her set, she heard him mumble, from the bed:

"What's going on?"

"I'm going on a hunt with Yuki."

She glanced back to see him sit up on his elbows and watch her with one eye closed.

"Isn't it a bit early?"

She tied, with one hand, her half of their red scarf around her left arm.

"Never too early to have fun."

He smirked.

"Right."

He watched her buckle straps and waited patiently. She walked over to him and sat on the bed. She pushed her hair out of his way so he could take care of the one she always had trouble with.

"She seemed fine?" Akio inquired as he worked.

Leiko nodded.

"Yeah. But who knows, birds of a feather flock together."

He gave an affirmative hum.

"I'm not worried. You'll keep an eye on her."

She turned her head to look at him and smiled.

"I try."

He leaned in for a quick kiss, then practically threw her back towards the door.

"Now, go! Have fun."

"Sleep tight."

"I will."

She heard him bury himself in the sheets and closed the door softly behind herself. To her right, Yuki had her back to the wall and her weapon laid against her legs. At the sight, Leiko had a thought.

"Oh, shit."

She turned and went back through the door.

"No Hammer," she explained.

She heard Akio chuckle as she left, and turned to stick her tongue out at him before crossing the doorway for the final time in the next five minutes, at least.

"Alright. All set."

Yuki picked up her Charge Blade and hung it on her back in one fell swoop.

"Let's go then."

Their paces aligned with the clanging of armour, and soon they stepped out into Dundorma at dawn. As they made their way through the waking streets, Leiko thought to ask:

"So, what are we hunting?"

"A Brute Tigrex that's been found roaming around close to here. I figure it's killing two birds with one stone, since I'm gonna be testing out the modifications on my blade."

Leiko nodded.

"Sure."

She tapped the handle of her Hammer.

"I'm just happy to be taking this baby out again."

Yuki's smile grew slightly.

"'Figured. I'd have been extremely surprised if you'd turned me down."

"Ha! Seems I can be read like an open book."

"I think I'm just super perceptive."

"Fair."

They sent smirks at each other and resumed the walk in pleasant silence. Out of Dundorma's gates and into the desert, Leiko let Yuki lead the track expertly. The air heated up slowly under the rising sun: now was, arguably, the best time in the day to go on a hunt since it was light, but not unbearably hot.

A roar sounded in the distance and Leiko shook off a wave of unease. She took to watching Yuki to distract herself from unpleasant thoughts and memories. On her back, the flamboyant Charge Blade contrasted greatly with her armour, quite sober. Leiko recognized materials from a Deviljho, and thought to herself that the choice was strangely fitting.

Not that Yuki was as ferocious and cruel as the monster she'd used to make her set, but they both stood out in their relentlessness and their stubbornness in standing their ground long after it stopped being reasonable.

Leiko snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a growl, close, and Yuki stopped. They took their weapons out and separated with a roll to dodge the Brute Tigrex's leap. They established more distance between themselves and it as it poised to roar, but even in the scuffle they both noticed something peculiar: the Tigrex had had its eye replaced by a shot from a Bowgun they knew well.

 _Ah._

Leiko didn't comment, but she watched Yuki's features harden.

She quickly spotted an outcropping of rock and ran to scramble up it while Yuki led the beast to her.

"Come on, you fucking piece of shit."

Leiko's eyebrows raised at the taunt, half a threat. She finished climbing and quickly found her bearings, just in time to see – and take – the window for her jump.

She landed on the Tigrex's back as she always did - hard and with a clunk, a mess of armour and scales. Hammer in one hand, using the other to steady herself, she aligned her momentum to the beast's so as to not be thrown off. To the side, she could see Yuki abandoning all pretense of defence and trading her shield for the blade of an axe and pure aggression. In a sidestep, she stood besides the Tigrex's head and her blade clinked against the shot in its eye.

The beast poised to roar again, and Leiko made the split second decision to keep bashing at it's skull with her Hammer - the Tigrex recoiled in pain, interrupted. It growled, gurgling on some blood, and immediately leaped forward and to the left in an effort to shake her off. The world became a blur as the Tigrex thrashed about, sending sand flying left and right, and Leiko looked for her opportunity to get off - it came when the beast threw itself on its back to try to crush her, but instead she simply slid off and rolled back to her feet.

Rolling over, on the other hand, was a mistake this Brute Tigrex would not make twice. Yuki charged and leaped, blade at the ready, and sent it crashing into the beast's softer underbelly - blood and guts spilled even before she sent a burst of energy to finish it off. It seemed her tinkering had paid off - viscera exploded everywhere and the sound of the blast hardly covered the sickening crushing of bones and innards alike.

Once the shock faded, there was left of the Brute Tigrex's rib cage only a mess of gore - Leiko wiped some of it off of her face.

"Wow."

Yuki watched her own work in silence, with a neutral expression distinctly unlike her. Leiko set her Hammer down.

"You wanna, uh. You wanna talk about it?"


	11. Chapter 11

Part 11

Yuki crumbled, just a little bit, a chunk of stone from her tower. Quietly, she turned her Charge Blade back to a sword and shield, and hung them on her back. She glanced up at Leiko, who was simply staring at her, uncharacteristically patient with her Hammer laying against her legs. Yuki let the silence run its course.

"It's... complicated," she finally admitted.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I'm just asking."

Something tugged at the corner of Yuki's lips, an expression Leiko couldn't quite decipher. She hesitated, clearly, but it felt unnatural coming from her. Yuki glanced at the mangled corpse of the Brute Tigrex at her feet.

"Well."

She gestured to it.

"Hana got hurt, and I have a strong feeling it's because I left her. I mean, a Brute Tigrex is fast, but not surprising-Hana fast. She must've been distracted, or upset... Or both. And she wouldn't even have come out here were it not for her visceral need to avoid me. So I feel guilty about that."

Leiko waited.

"It's just, I need to have left her, I just can't keep doing this anymore," Yuki continued, "but fuck, it hurts. And I knew it would hurt, but I didn't expect it to be this hard to not be there to comfort her. Worse, to be the reason she's suffering."

Yuki paused, as if considering the words that had just come out of her mouth, before she threw her hands up in the air and took them back.

"Ah! That's not even true. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I broke things off with her. I was setting myself up for suffering, but, agh, maybe, just maybe, there was a part of me that left her because I wanted her to prove that she wanted to be with me. Somewhere, deep down, I wanted her to regret not having me. I wanted her to realize that she couldn't live without me, and to run right back into my arms. But this is Hana we're talking about. All of the rest of me knew that that wouldn't happen. And then, guess what?"

Leiko guessed.

"It did! It did happen! She fucking came to me, and she told me that she didn't want to commit to being without me! And I fucking sobbed right in her face because, you know? I'd always... I'd always had it in my head, that if she would only tell me she loved me, all of our problems would go away, and it would all immediately be worth it."

Yuki had been sharp, bitter and acerbic. But then, her shoulders crumbled slightly, and her cheeks hollowed and the corners of her mouth fell.

"But just a couple words, no matter how earnest, no matter how meaningful, don't magically fix seven years of brokenheartedness."

It was as if the realization had hit her right then and there. Yuki took a moment to swallow around the lump in her throat.

"And _that_ hurts. And I'm – don't think I'm saying that being with Hana was miserable from beginning to end. Some of my happiest times were spent by her side. I'm not... I wasn't sticking around out of pure stubbornness. There were times where I thought the world was going to crumble around me, but she held it all together. She held ice up to my bruises, and she held me when I was fragile and broken and alone. She's not a monster. I've always known I could go to her when things were wrong, unequivocally, dramatically, explosively wrong, but... I want her to be there in the happy times, too."

Something in Yuki clicked, it seemed, and something took hold of her, raised her shoulders and gave her look a sharp intensity. It was as if her entire being was suddenly being lifted, as if wings had sprouted at her back and she was preparing to take flight.

"And everything in between, too. The moments where I want to punch life in the face, and the ones where I just want to sit down with a cup of tea, the moments where I feel like shit and the ones where I feel like I could take on the world. And I know it's not like we can always be actually, physically together – I'm not part of the Aces and I don't think I ever will be – but if she can't be there I at least want her to wish she was. But even if I want all of those things, that doesn't mean that I can just throw myself back at her, because I suffered, too, and she might hurt now but _so do I_ , and I have, for a long time. So I want all of these things, but I can't, I won't have them, and it sucks, and everything fucking sucks and I'm so done and all at the same time I just want to start all over again, and it's just so _complicated_ and _awful_ and _stupid_."

Leiko had faded into the background, just a witness to this monologue. A torrent of everything that Yuki had kept hidden and repressed, unspoken even within the reaches of her mind, when she'd needed it clear and bared and understood. Finally, her chest had rent and out poured her wounds and her triumphs in equal measure.

"Why did I have to fall in love with such a goddamn idiot?! Why did I have to fall in love with the girl who can't handle the very thought of opening up?! She's just – ugh, she's so insufferable! You tell her the same thing over and over and over and over again and she smiles and nods, with her arms crossed, there, and you know that she isn't going to listen to a goddamn word you say! She wants to be this fucking rock for the people she loves but she can't even keep herself together most of the time! She's fucking hastily glued together with pieces missing and falling apart all the time, but she still has the nerve to try to fix everyone around her. She's great at giving advice, but fuck, there isn't a person shittier than she is at following her own!"

She was a storm, unstoppable and excruciating and overwhelmingly genuine, sincerity like a sharp flurry. A blizzard of things she'd tried to forget finally wild and free.

"She's such a hypocrite, always pushing Akio to get over his guilt while she sits there wallowing in hers! 'Oh, I wasn't there, I wasn't there' get over yourself you fucking moron! You think you could've single-handedly stopped the fucking Kushala Daora from ripping Masato apart?! She's miserable and scared and she fucking hates herself but she's too much of a goddamn idiot to reach out! She just keeps on suffering for so long when there's no reason in fucking hell that she should. It would be so _easy_ to just open up and talk, there's so many people she can trust, and she would never, ever, think any less of them if they did the same but – oh! for her, it's different! I don't even know what she wants anymore. Does she just hope everything will fix itself? That, one day, she'll wake up in the morning and everything will be right as rain? She's just... UGH!"

And here, the storm faded for a second. The wind settled and the snow fell quietly, a flash of tenderness in Yuki's eyes.

"There's just so much that's wrong with her that she's just too scared to fix. It's like she's eternally crooked, and she gave up hope on ever being upright long ago. Like she thinks she'll just always be broken. That's the way she is, and nothing will ever be different."

She had a sigh in which the breeze died, and all of her tenseness evaporated. A smile peeked on her lips, small and true, and it raised her eyebrows instead of twisting her mouth.

"If only she could see herself the way I do. She's awful about it, but she's caring and loyal and there's been times where she was the strongest person I ever knew. And she might hide behind this layer of sarcasm and wit, but she's so warm and she can always find the right words to say. And she's so fucking smart! She likes to pretend that everything is so easy but she works so hard because she won't accept anything less than perfection. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe she sees herself as the only imperfect thing she'll never be able to fix."

She paused to let her heart slip out of her throat.

"It would be so easy to gild all of her shattered pieces back together. Broken doesn't mean faulty. It doesn't even mean bad."

And the curtain fell. Yuki didn't seem drained by the performance, but Leiko felt as if her chest was going to collapse. Silence enveloped them for a moment. Leiko searched for the right words to say.

"It doesn't," she settled. "But she's gonna have to realize that. And you can't keep killing yourself so it happens, because that will never work."

Yuki's smile grew, slightly, tenderness tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I know," she breathed. "I know."

"There might never be something harder than that, but not running back to her is the right thing to do."

And her smile cracked slightly, a thin line across her lips and onto her cheeks.

"Yeah."

Leiko did not cross the threshold of the mangled corpse between them. She blinked away a couple of tears, and still offered as much comfort as she could.

"It's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay."

Yuki stared into her eyes and her smile flared up, brighter than the sun.

"Yeah. If Hana is anything, it's better than she thinks."


	12. Chapter 12

Part 12

Sat against the Unaaq's banister, Haru was sharpening his sword. He heard footsteps and watched Hana come up onto the deck. She spotted him and raised an eyebrow as she walked up to him.

"Good morning?" she tried.

"'Morning."

She paused to wait for an explanation that didn't come.

"What are you doing here?" she relented to ask.

Haru stopped sharpening his weapon.

"What are _you_?"

Hana narrowed her eyes slightly and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I don't know what you think is going on, but you're probably wrong."

It's not that Haru suddenly knew Hana's tells, more so he'd finally learned to not take everything she said at face value. And he knew, his short meeting with Yuki the last night aside, that Hana would only come to sleep on the ship if she was hiding from something.

So he stared into her, hoping that she would drop the act without prompting when shown a bit of skepticism. She didn't, and he briefly wondered if he was coming off as uncertain instead.

"I talked to Yuki last night," he declared.

'Talk to' might have been a mild exaggeration, but Haru caught a glimpse of a spark of worry in Hana's eyes and considered the half-truth was worth it. Hana didn't break, of course, but he knew she'd be painfully aware that these couple seconds of silence were telling.

"She's a good conversationalist," the Gunner hummed.

Haru rolled his eyes. Two could play at that game.

"She seemed pretty shaken."

Hana tanked the hit without showing any signs of weakness, but Haru knew he'd hit a chord.

"Hm."

"So I was wondering if you'd seen her."

He had looked for Yuki, that much was true, but of course Akio had told him she had gone out on a hunt with Leiko at the crack of dawn. However, Hana didn't know that. He didn't like lying by omission and guilt grated at his spine, but he knew he would get no explanation or admittance out of her if he didn't play her game.

"Nope."

Yet Hana held on. Haru knew he was an awful liar, and maybe he'd betrayed himself in some way. He had known this was going to be difficult – and it's not like he was out of buttons to press, but those were territory he wasn't sure he was willing to breach – but he needed an answer from Hana.

He gave up the charade, because his strength lay in his sincerity.

"Look," he sighed. "Yuki is my friend too. I want to help her."

"Then go ask her what's wrong."

"You know she'd never tell the whole truth. She'd protect you."

Hana lost her patience. She grit her teeth and uncrossed her arms.

"I'm not a fucking monster, Haru. I don't know what you think I could possibly do to her that she'd be so ashamed of she'd lie about it. In fact I'm willing to bet my fucking left arm that she's been honest with you guys about everything."

She was sharp, perhaps wounded, and Haru felt pained, but he didn't want to let up.

"That's my point! She's been nothing but honest and open, and then yesterday she wouldn't tell me anything! I'm not saying I know for a fact that she's doing super awful, but I'm worried and you're the only one I can ask!"

"You worry too much."

"That's not the point!" he snapped.

"It's exactly the point. If she were truly in need of help, she'd ask for it."

Haru stopped. He knew Hana knew Yuki much better than he did, and she was probably right. But he still felt that something was wrong. It didn't sit right with him to just drop it and leave. He knew he shouldn't pry, and he had no business doing so, but something in him just couldn't allow him to let it go.

"Alright," he admitted. "You're probably right."

"I am right. I spent seven years with that girl. I know how she works."

He conceded with a nod. She waited for him to get up and leave. He still hesitated. He looked away.

"If you... if you love her, and she loves you, and you're both willing to make it work, why aren't you together?"

Hana's teeth clacked together as she reigned in an explosion she knew entirely unwarranted. It still happened, but she contained it.

"I..." she croaked, "I just... She isn't..."

Haru waited.

"I did my part, god dammit," Hana choked out quietly. "I tried, but there's just some things you can't fix."

He didn't say anything. Fire scorched Hana's insides still. Soon, she felt, there would be nothing left.

"I went back, but she needed me to leave."

"A likely excuse, Hana."

The tone was soft, empathetic, without an ounce of accusation, but Hana still felt attacked.

"No! She said maybe it was too late. That she shouldn't just crawl back to me."

"Well, she told me that it was complicated, and that she just needed some time to think," Haru nuanced. "I admit I wasn't there when she told you these things, but I'm pretty sure she didn't mean them as a 'no'. More like a 'ask me later'."

Hana tried not to choke on the truth.

"I know that. But at this point, isn't it just too late to salvage? What is there even left to save?"

"She knows that you care, and you know that she doesn't hate you. She needed you to leave then, but that doesn't mean forever."

There might be nothing left but smoke, but Haru knew that forests grow back thicker after a fire.

"It would be simpler. She could find someone who will treat her right," Hana insisted.

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe she doesn't want to?"

She'd tried not to. Haru didn't let up.

"It would be easier to leave, but it wouldn't be better: not for her, or for you. You can still save this, but it's your effort to make, not hers."

Hana had a long sigh that eased the tension in her shoulders slightly. It forced Haru to realize just how stiffly the Gunner held herself. He feared, for a moment, that she would collapse, but she seemed as stable as ever.

She was done talking, though. Hana pursed her lips slightly, and sat cross-legged right where she stood. She pulled out her pipe, quickly stuffed it with tobacco, and lit up. Haru watched silently.

He knew to not push her now, as it would lead nowhere, and that annoyed him. Once she shut down, there was no bringing her back out. It was like trying to reason with a child, or a wall.

The Cadet reigned in his exasperation with a touch of empathy. There was no point in getting angry now, and it was understandable that Hana react in this way, somehow. So he sat and watched her smoke while she pretended he wasn't there. He noticed that her pipe was crooked and suddenly remembered something.

He reached into his pouch and produced another one, brand new, and handed it to Hana. She raised an eyebrow at him, but stretched to take it.

"Hideaki got it for you," Haru explained. "I said I'd take it to you since I wanted to talk to you anyway."

"Thanks," she spoke around the pipe stuck between her teeth.

Carefully, she got to transferring the contents of her broken pipe into the new one. He watched her do that, and then finally killed his hope that she would open up again and got up to leave.

"You going out on a hunt?" she asked just before he got off the boat.

He turned his head to look at her.

"Yeah."

"You didn't go with Yuki?"

He narrowed his eyes at her.

"No. Too early."

She was smirking at him, smug. He rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Have fun," she waved him off.


	13. Chapter 13

Part 13

Nausea and a pounding headache pulled Hideaki out of a deep, heavy slumber. He blinked at the ceiling, trying to chase the blinding light of day out of his eyes. When that didn't quite work, he elected to roll over to either get up or bury his face in his pillow, he hadn't decided yet.

He rolled to the right and found another face, sound asleep. The man's hair was draped all over his face, tangled in his beard, and lifted slightly by his every breath.

Hideaki took a moment to look around the room and notice that it clearly wasn't his own.

With a sigh, he rolled over on his back again. He passed a hand over his face, trying to rub the grogginess out of himself.

"I'm too old for this shit."

* * *

Once at the Commons, Haru quickly spotted Akio and Leiko, the former sat at a table reading a book and the latter draped against him, seemingly having a nap. He walked up to them while looking around for another familiar face.

"Where's Hideaki?" Haru asked as he made eye contact with Akio.

The Commander shrugged softly, careful to not bother his wife.

"In his room?"

Haru shook his head.

"I checked. And he wasn't on the ship either, or anywhere he usually would be. We were supposed to go on a hunt together, but I don't think he would have left without me."

Akio pursed his lips slightly, then shrugged again.

"No idea," he conceded.

Haru made a face. He plopped down on the seat in front of the Commander and set his elbows on the table.

"Hm. I was really looking forward to hunting with him."

"I'm sure he'll show up eventually," Akio hummed.

He reported his attention to the book in his hands, sparing a glance and the shadow of a smile to his sleeping wife. It lightly swiped away the turmoil in Haru's heart.

They sat in silence for a moment. The Cadet people watched for a second, until his gaze settled on Leiko once again and he noticed something on her clothes.

"Is that blood?" he asked.

Akio couldn't quite manoeuvre to look at the stain without bothering the sleeping beauty, but he didn't look worried.

"She did describe their hunt as 'explosive'," he offered. "If she was hurt, she would have said."

Haru conceded with a nod. He started tapping his fingers against the table, making soft clinking sounds. Akio wasn't distracted.

"I'm all restless, now," Haru commented. "And slightly worried that something is wrong."

Akio set his book down.

"I'm sure everything is fine."

Haru pursed his lips.

"You're probably right. It's just, so much has been going on, I don't even know where to focus anymore. I thought this was supposed to be our vacation!"

Akio had a chuckle, empathetic rather than amused.

"At the end of the day," he argued, "it's better that this all happen while we're on vacation, rather than while we're on duty."

The Cadet plopped his chin down in his opened hand.

"I get that, but it still sucks."

The Commander tilted his face in concession.

"I'll give you that. But then again, would you be happy with complete calm and idleness?"

Haru paused to consider.

"Sure, no. But this is still complicated and weird."

"Luckily, this isn't your relationship, so you don't have to worry about it too much."

The tone wasn't particularly stern coming from Akio, but Haru recognized the reprimand. Maybe he'd gotten a bit more involved than was reasonable.

"Well I had a good talk with Hana, so I'm done getting involved," he decided.

"Mhm."

The hum marked the end of the conversation, but Haru didn't feel dismissed. Leiko stirred slightly against her husband and opened her eyes. She immediately spotted the Cadet and gave him a wave and a yawn.

"'Morning."

He smiled.

"Hi. How was the hunt with Yuki?"

"Let's just say: explosive. I ended up with chunks of Brute Tigrex all over me. It wasn't super pleasant, but at least it was impressive."

"Because of the modification on her Charge Blade?"

Leiko nodded.

"Yeah. It works, I can tell you that much."

The Cadet chuckled, and a smile flashed on Leiko's features. She rested her head back on Akio's shoulder and stared at the ceiling for a moment, content.

"I had a talk with Hana," Haru figured she'd like to know.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. She, uh... well, I just hope I got through."

Akio didn't look away from the book he'd picked back up.

"She's much less closed off than she lets on. She might wallow for a while, but everything that makes sense gets through eventually."

"I hope so."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Leiko added.

And really, he believed them. After all, Akio had known Hana basically forever, and Leiko tended to be quite perceptive about these sort of things.

Yuki took the moment of silence to pop up at the side of the table.

"Hi guys," she started.

"Hey."

"Hello."

"Hi."

"You busy tonight?"

Haru looked to Akio, who looked to Leiko. She shrugged.

"Not as far as I'm aware."

"Sweet," Yuki beamed. "'Cause we're all gonna go and get wasted."

"Sounds like a good plan to me!"

Leiko looked quite excited. A smile flashed on Akio's lips.

"I don't see why not," he agreed.

With that, Yuki poised to leave.

"Sweet, see you guys at ten," she said as she turned. Then, she stopped. "Oh, and invite Hana, too. And tell her I'll be there, so that she isn't caught off guard. She can make an informed decision, or whatever."

"Sure thing," Leiko agreed.

"Oh, and, has anyone seen Hideaki?"

"No," Akio said. "Haru was just looking for him."

Yuki sucked her cheeks in slightly.

"Huh. I have a friend who's in town, and I wanted to introduce them to each other. Oh well, if you guys manage to get a hold of him, invite him to the little get-together too."

"Wouldn't be the same without him," Leiko commented.

"Sure wouldn't. Alright, see you guys!"

* * *

Haru quickly spotted Yuki at the tavern bar, chatting with the tallest man he'd ever seen. He stopped in his tracks for a moment. The height difference between them was almost comical - especially considering that Yuki wasn't particularly short, only a handful of centimetres shorter than the Cadet.

Before he could keep walking towards them, though, Yuki spotted Haru and gestured him over. He obeyed, and she did the introductions.

"Hi, Haru. This is Kanta," she gestured to the giant, and then back to Haru, "Kanta, Haru. He's the youngest member of the Aces! Although not the newest, and quite the hero."

"Yuki..." Haru rolled his eyes, bashful.

Kanta offered a hand for Haru to shake. He did, and felt awfully small.

"Nice to meetcha, Haru," he drawled. He had a somewhat thick accent, which the Cadet hadn't expected at all.

"Nice to meet you too."

Yuki seemed awfully pleased, and Haru couldn't quite tell why. It was good to see her happy, though, so he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"So... how do you guys know each other?" the Cadet opted to make conversation.

"A long time ago," Kanta boomed with a smile, "I was a little boy with great dreams of huntin'. Then, I became a large boy with great dreams of huntin', so I enrolled with the Guild, and I spent seven years huntin' alone 'til this lil' sixteen-year-old bag o' smiles and ambition decided to tag along. She's since gone on to do great things without me, but I trust she always remembers where she comes from."

Yuki nodded along, amused.

"You've truly taught me everything," she mused. "Most importantly, how to carry a man twice my weight to his room after he's passed out from drinking."

Kanta made a face and scratched his beard.

"How dare! Ungrateful lil' shit, you are."

She raised her glass to her lips and her eyebrows at him in a smile.

"It's an important life skill. Came in handy a couple times."

He decided to concede with a shrug. Haru chuckled at the banter. Yuki turned to look at him and gestured towards the bar.

"You want something to drink?"

He thought for a second.

"Sure, might as well start now."

"That's what I like to hear."

* * *

Time passed in a comfortable haze.

This level of buzzed Yuki liked to call home. She stopped for a moment, to watch her loved ones gathered here today. They had all congregated to dance (and if Yuki had ever needed proof that Leiko and Akio would stick together until the end, the fact that she'd managed to get him to dance was it), and she'd separated from the pack to get another drink. (And one for Leiko, and one for Kanta, and she'd also managed to convince Hideaki.)

She stood besides the bar to catch her breath and bask in the fact that her matchmaking skills were so godly she hadn't even needed to get involved for Kanta and Hideaki to get _involved_ with each other. She was busy watching them dance when Hana invaded her peripherals.

"Hey."

Yuki's attention snapped to the Gunner and her heart simultaneously dropped to her heels and burst out of her chest.

"Hana!" she couldn't help but enthuse.

A smile illuminated her face and – perhaps – the alcohol numbed the pain and left only honeyed warmth dripping against her spine.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't show up."

Even among the various drunken patrons of the tavern, the smell of alcohol still stood out on Hana.

"Nah. I'm here," the Gunner assured.

It felt almost alien to hear it. The words echoed inside Yuki's skull and she felt as if the world started spinning lightly.

"Yeah," Yuki muttered. "You are."

They stared at each other, glassy-eyed. Yuki still had enough sobriety in her blood to be impressed at her own self-control. Hana broke their gaze first to look over to the assembled Aces and Kanta.

"Oh. First of all," Hana said, "Akio's dancing. Now, that's a sight I never thought I'd see when he's still sober enough to stand straight."

"I was about to say," Yuki smirked, "wedding shenanigans."

"Right," Hana conceded. "Second, since when's Kanta here?"

Yuki set her elbows down on the bar, back against it and leaning slightly towards the Gunner.

"He got here yesterday. First thing he did wasn't even to come and see me, even though he knew I was in Dundorma. No, he headed straight here, met Hideaki during the evening, and they got so wasted they went back to his place and boned."

Hana raised both eyebrows.

"Well that explains that," she gestured to them.

"Mhm."

Silence fell, a bubble excluding the hubbub of the tavern in which time slowed. Yuki bit at her bottom lip to stop herself from doing something stupid.

Luckily, the bartender nudged her and handed her the drinks she'd come to collect, and she clung to the distraction. She grabbed the glasses, but hesitated before heading back.

"You, uh. Want a drink?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Okay. Gimme a second, I'll buy it for you."

And with that, Yuki strutted over to her friends and shoved their drinks into their hands. Kanta took his with a side glance to Hana quietly standing there. He gave Yuki a questioning look, and she had a smile as only answer. Hideaki was likewise sagacious, offering a warm smile as comfort.

Leiko was much less subdued about it.

"I'm surprised she showed up."

Yuki pursed her lips and nodded.

"Me too. But she did."

"You okay?"

Something tugged at the corners of Yuki's mouth before she answered.

"Yeah. I'm happy about it."

"Good," Leiko resolved.

She held up her glass for a quiet toast which Yuki gladly participated in, and then downed it as a show of solidarity.

"You're fine," the Hammer wielder assured.

Yuki nodded. She took the empty glass out of Leiko's hands and walked back to the bar, where Hana had already ordered but refrained from paying. She took care of it and turned back towards her.

"Thanks for letting me."

The Gunner shrugged.

Silence slid under their bones.

"Aaaah fuck this," Yuki decided. "You want to dance?"

A smile crept up on Hana's features.

"If it means getting to watch you, yeah."

The same exploded on Yuki's cheeks as she grabbed the Gunner's wrist and dragged her to join the others.

"Should've known you wouldn't turn me down."

* * *

Time passed in a comfortable haze.

The night sky dabbled in green and warmth filled Yuki's bones. Akio remained ever solid and accompanied both wife and pupil to their respective beds while Kanta and Hideaki separated, and soon Yuki was left alone with the Ace Gunner.

In a corner of the tavern, quiet, Hana's head wobbled to a rhythm she alone could hear. Yuki watched her quietly, warmth emanating from every inch of her skin.

"I wish I was drunk enough to not be reasonable," she growled.

Hana stopped.

"Me too," she thrummed.

Butterflies filled Yuki's chest. She inched closer to her love, just enough to shut up the urge at the back of her mind for a second – not enough to regret it tomorrow.

"This sucks."

Hana opened her eyes and stared at her for a long time.

"Yeah. It does."

Slowly, she inched forward, too. Yuki held her breath, and even then it caught in her throat when she felt Hana's fingers softly lay on her hip.

"I don't want you to do something you'll regret," she drawled. "And you said that you needed time. I want to give you that."

Yuki looked away, anywhere but Hana's face.

"However," the Gunner continued, "I also do want _you_."

Yuki melted.

And yet she stood straight, right there, inches away from everything she wanted.

"I can't."

Hana stepped back, and as she did Yuki would have given anything for her to come closer again.

"Alright," the Gunner agreed. "I'll walk you back."


	14. Chapter 14

Part 14

Three months later, Yuki sat on a small ship heading to fuck knows where.

She'd missed this part of scouting. The excitement, being the first person on the scene. And she was no Hideaki, but it was good to be the ones to solve a mystery.

With the heavy thump of steps, Kanta came up to her. He handed her a letter.

"This jus' came in from the West."

She grabbed it and cracked the seal open.

"From Leiko, I assume," she mused.

That wasn't her handwriting, though. This one was more square, less flowing - it looked like someone had fussed over the words with the way the ink bloated at the beginning of letters.

Yuki exhaled a chuckle around the lump in her throat.

"Do _you_ remember the last time Hana sent me a letter?"

Kanta spoke around a cigarette.

"I dunno. Do I?"

He'd answered a rhetorical question and he knew it by the way Yuki ignored him, eyes running along the words left there by her silent lover. She read like she'd found the writings of a god, the answers to all of the universe's questions.

"She don't deserve you," he exhaled.

She dismissed the thought with a wave of her hand.

"We've been over this."

He pursed his lips and took a drag of his cigarette. Yuki didn't complete the thought as her pupils jumped around the page. He saw them meet the bottom right corner; she sucked her cheeks in slightly and folded the letter back.

"She's much better than you think."

"Look, doll," Kanta blew smoke away from her face, "I've heard that line from ya before."

She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly slighted.

"This isn't the same thing at all. I was young and stupid, then. And I've _learned_ , Kanta."

He shrugged.

"All I'm seein' is she's hurtin' you and you keep goin' back - and you've been doin' it for a while."

Yuki waved the letter around in exasperation, to keep herself mindful of her movements.

"Have you – have you not paid attention these past three months? I literally broke up with her, and then when she offered me the most commitment she's ever given anyone in her entire life, I didn't go back. I don't know what you want. You're being overprotective and shortsighted."

Kanta scoffed a cloud of smoke, and Yuki waved it away from herself.

"And _she_ , at least, stopped smoking in my presence after I told her I hated it."

"That alone don't make her good for you."

Yuki made a face.

"There isn't just that. Also, we're literally not together anymore."

Kanta crossed his arms over his chest. He was watching the horizon, his eyes fixed on a point they'd never reach.

"But you wish you were," he said.

He heard Yuki sigh quietly. He guessed her sucking her cheeks in a little bit more, chewing on their insides.

"Of course I wish we were."

She paused.

"But we're not. Even though we could. I turned her down, twice, after she showed me affection the way she's never done before. So don't give me that shit."

She slapped his arm and he turned his head to look at her. Yuki gestured to the letter, her gaze lingering on the paper somewhat tenderly.

"And she's making _efforts_. It might not look like much, but I know how much she must've fussed over this."

A smile peeked at the corners of her lips.

"She probably wrote it, threw it away, and rewrote it dozens of time," she mumbled to herself.

Kanta took a drag off his cigarette, and blew it away from her. Smoke mixed with clouds, in the sky far from where they could ever reach.

"The way you talk about her," he said, then paused. "She don't deserve you."

"Don't be like that. She's better than you think. She's better than _she_ thinks."

He crushed the cigarette on the boat's banister under Yuki's disapproval. He got up, stretching old muscles, and started walking away.

"People can surprise you. Badly," he mused.

She held the letter a bit tighter.

"And they can get better and surprise me pleasantly, too."

He walked away.

"She can do this!" Yuki insisted. "I believe in her!"

Kanta stopped. He turned around to face her, features hardened.

"You talk like this don't involve you. This ain't one of those romance books you love so much!"

And Yuki clutched the letter, a piece of her heart missing for seven years.

"It does involve me," she resolved, "and that's why I know she's doing her best. And that's much more than she's given me these past seven years. And don't," he tried to interrupt – "don't pretend like the seven years of hurt make this worthless! They don't. Hana isn't Hisae: she was never even close! This is different, and I'll prove it – no, she will!"

Kanta fell back on silence. He stopped in his tracks, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You sound like a lovesick teenager."

If there was something Yuki gave up in that moment, it was her pride; she held the letter and stared into him.

"Maybe. I don't care! There's a lot Hana did wrong, but I won't take away what she's doing right just because of that."

He stared at her, dubitative, but she didn't falter. Like a storm, a blizzard; unwilling to obey the laws of common sense or the pleas of the reasonable.

Kanta sighed.

"Fine. Do whatcha want. But I won't be 'round to pick up the pieces."

"Stop acting like I'm making a mistake. There isn't gonna be any pieces to pick up."

* * *

"Hana!"

The same, pipe between her teeth, turned her head to face Leiko. The Hammer wielder held a piece of paper, which she waved around a bit.

"It's the Guild. We're heading to Melagrumes."

There was a spark in Hana's eyes - Leiko's smirk exploded on her face.

"That's where Yuki is, right?"

"Yeah."

The smile didn't leave Leiko's face, and Hana took a drag off her pipe to pretend she didn't realize why.

"Any news, then?" the Hammer wielder inquired.

"None of your concern."

"What, y'all don't talk work when you write to each other?"

Hana took a drag and rolled her eyes.

"No."

"Huh," Leiko smirked.

There was a moment of silence while Hana clacked her teeth against her pipe.

"You're a bit insufferable," she deadpanned.

Leiko started retracting back to where she came from, shaking the Guild's letter at Hana as goodbye.

"Fine, fine. I'll leave you be."

She stopped.

"But, uh. For what it's worth... I'm proud of you for making the effort."

Hana clenched her teeth slightly on the pipe. She waved Leiko off.

"Yeah, yeah."


	15. Chapter 15

Part 15

Melagrumes was a decently sized town. It was no Dundorma, but it was large enough to have a dock for flying ships, which was more than could be said for a lot of the villages the Aces travelled to.

Hana lay a foot on the dock with her pipe at her belt and smelling of cold tobacco. She spotted Yuki, chatting idly to Kanta and watching the docks. Their eyes met, and Yuki smiled wide – Hana's insides caught fire. She nodded.

Yuki's smile sharpened and she rolled her eyes.

From behind the Gunner, Hideaki nudged her forward softly. She aligned her strides with Akio's, in front, and they made their way through the docks and to the scouting duo.

"Hey you guys," Yuki smiled. "I missed you."

"It's nice to see you too," Akio said.

Leiko side-eyed him, subtly reaching for his hand. He accepted the gesture just a discreetly.

"Well," Yuki shrugged, "I guess we should get to work immediately. We shouldn't talk here, though."

"Let's go to the house," Kanta suggested.

"Good idea."

She gestured for them to follow, and the Aces did as a unit. Yuki looked to Kanta with a smirk, and mouthed something Hana didn't quite get. He smirked back, more subdued.

They made their way to the shack kindly lent to the scouts by the town authorities and settled down around the table in its centre. Kanta leaned back and put his feet up on the table. Akio glanced, but didn't let it distract him.

"So, what's the situation? We haven't been informed of much because of the urgency of the situation," the Commander begun.

"We originally came out here because the town has been experiencing frequent earthquakes, to a degree that has never been observed here before," Yuki explained. "Obviously, our first thought was: Elder Dragon, so we were ready for the worst. We went pretty far out searching for a possible cause, but there honestly isn't much irregular monster activity around here, so that was sign number one that we weren't dealing with one of those. And then – do you guys know of the large lake that's to the West of here?"

Leiko piped in:

"There isn't one? The closest big lake feeds into the river north of Yatori, way Northwest of here."

Yuki nodded.

"You're right. What there is, though, and what I mistook for a lake real quick, is a fucking horde of – what," she looked to Kanta for approval, "a thousand Velociprey, fifty Velocidrome?"

"Holy shit," Leiko voiced the common sentiment.

Yuki nodded.

"Yeah. So, that explains the earthquakes. The real problem is that we're pretty sure they're coming this way. And fast: the earthquakes have been getting more intense. Thing is, if they pass through here, there won't be much town left after they're gone."

"We absolutely have to thin, if not destroy, the horde," Akio settled.

"We do," Yuki agreed. "But just the seven of us won't be enough. We need artillery. But I don't know if the Guild'll be fast enough sending it."

Akio thought.

"And how much time do you estimate we have before the horde gets here?" he asked.

Kanta answered:

"I dunno, three days? Those things are pretty fast."

"Well," Haru spoke up, "The Unaaq has a couple cannons. You guys asked for artillery from the Guild already, right?"

"Yeah. We didn't hear back yet, though," Yuki added.

"They're usually pretty fast," Haru noted. "Loc Lac is close to here, right? They can probably make it in three days."

"Haru is right," Akio conceded, "but we still need a plan in case they don't."

"That's why I was mentioning the Unaaq's cannons," the Cadet continued. "If they're late, we can at least hold the horde off for a bit."

"The cannons are too slow," Hana countered. "No way they'd be effective enough to stall a horde that large."

Silence fell for a moment.

"Well, we're sort of a seven man army," Leiko offered.

"We might have to be," Akio settled. He turned to Yuki. "We need the city evacuated as soon as possible, without displacing the citizens for too long, and without causing a panic."

"I'm sure if the Ace Commander asks, it'll be done," Yuki smiled. "And we'll probably be able to anticipate exactly how close the horde is, right, Mister Biologist?"

Hideaki nodded.

"I'll see what I can do."

He stood up.

"I'll need to go out, though. And I'll need one of you," he gestured to Kanta and Yuki, "to guide me."

"He'll go," she volunteered her partner.

He got up, scratching his beard.

"Givin' me the dirty work," he grumbled.

She smiled, pointed.

"Yes. The dirty work."

He waved the implication off with a hand, grabbed his Bow with the other, and started heading out. Hideaki followed, picking up his Lance on the way out.

Leiko got out of her chair and slipped behind Akio – she slid her hands over his armoured shoulders, squeezing them lightly.

"C'mon, let's go talk to the town chief."

He nodded and got up. Before leaving, he turned to Haru, Hana and Yuki.

"I'll be back with more concrete plans once Hideaki and Kanta are back. For now, you're all free."

All nodded.

The Commander and his wife made their way out, and soon Haru was alone with Hana and Yuki.

"I'm gonna, uh," he said as he pushed his chair out and got up, "I'm gonna go too. To, uh... you know. Do stuff."

He slipped away.

"Bye!"

And they were alone.

Silence filled the room for a couple of seconds. The ghost of a smile passed on Yuki's face, tender.

"... Thanks for writing," she said.

Hana nodded.

Silence fell again, tense but warm. There were many things Yuki wanted to say, but none were appropriate. She kept her mouth shut and her lips pursed.

Until she didn't.

"Where are we at, Hana?"

"I don't know."

Yuki stared into her.

"I trust you, and I trust in you. But I don't know... if I'm ready yet."

Hana exhaled and nodded. She got up and walked over to her ex-girlfriend – she put a hand on her shoulder, bent down, and lay a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll wait," she said.

Yuki watched her leave the room with butterflies bursting out of her chest.

* * *

Night had long fallen when Hideaki made his way back onto the ship. Sat at the common room's table, Akio was hunched over a small map of the surrounding area.

"Kanta's estimate was right: we have about three days," Hideaki cut to the chase.

The news was rather unwelcome. Akio looked up to the Lancer and pursed his lips slightly.

"And it's heading through here without a doubt?"

Hideaki nodded.

"Alright," Akio conceded. "I'll have the chief begin evacuating the town."

He reported his attention to the map and frowned. Hideaki lay his Lance against the wall and inquired:

"Any news from the Guild?"

"Yes. They expect the artillery will be here in time."

"Good."

Silence fell. Still hunched over the map, Akio was staring at its lines as if safety could be found in the ink. Hideaki put his shield against the wall besides his weapon and started heading to his room.

"You should head to bed, your wife must be waiting."

A smile flashed on the Commander's features, a second of peace in the turmoil before it fell.

"I will."

And the Lancer left with the clinking of armour.

Silence was never Leiko's strong suit. A while later, Akio heard her footsteps behind him before she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and plopped her chin on top of his head.

"Come to bed," she requested. "I had a bad dream."

He didn't move. She gestured to the table.

"And you won't buy us any more time by staring at a map until the sun comes up. Just come get some sleep."

She felt him sigh, and his shoulders lost some of their tenseness.

"You're right."

"Of course I'm right. C'mon."


	16. Chapter 16

Part 16

Leaning forward against the Unaaq's banister, Hana exhaled smoke to join the clouds.

Fire softly roared inside her stomach. Down by the docks, Yuki chatted with Kanta and a dock worker.

From behind, Hideaki walked up to her and followed her gaze.

"It's nice to be assigned with her again," he said.

"Mhm," Hana nodded.

She took another drag and blew the smoke away from him. They stood in silence for a bit, until all the tobacco in the pipe had burnt out. Then, the Gunner emptied it off the side of the ship, and handed it to the Lancer.

"What?" he questioned.

"You bought it. Take it."

She looked away from him, just so she wouldn't see his features light up with understanding.

"I don't want it," he said. "Give it to Kanta: he smokes, he'll have much more use for it than I do."

Hana made a face.

"Keep it for when you're drunk."

Hideaki chuckled.

"I already have mine."

She straightened up with a sigh, stretching her arms to the sky.

"Fine."

She waited for Kanta to be alone while helping with the evacuation before going up to him. He gave her a strange look when she held out the pipe to him.

"Watcha want me to do with that?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Smoke?"

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't need it. It's yours, why d'you wanna give it to me?"

Hana didn't move.

"I won't need it anymore."

He stared into her, suspicious. She didn't waver and waited. When he didn't reach out to grab the pipe, she rolled her eyes.

"Look, you either take it, or I throw it away."

Kanta finally took the pipe and slid it at his belt.

"I'll keep it, for when ya want it again."

He narrowed his eyes at her when she waved off the implication and turned to leave.

"Whatever. It's a nice pipe. I just didn't want it to go to waste."

* * *

One and a half days later, the Ace Hunters and two scouts stood in an empty town. The Unaaq was set up, acting as a small, inadequate barrier between a thousand monsters and civilization.

Sat at the bow of the ship, Hana stood guard under the moonlight. She heard footsteps and guessed before Yuki sat down besides her.

"Hey," she breathed.

"Hey."

Hana kept her eyes on the horizon. Yuki watched the way the moon rays underlined her features, the way the light lay against her face like the universe itself had willed beauty there. She seemed so unapproachable like this. Otherworldly.

There was something sweet in the silence, then. Like they could just stay like this forever. Like silver light would never leave Hana's face, like the sun would never rise to try and outshine her. Like there was nothing else. Something in Yuki would have been content, in that moment, to remain silent and unsteady for the rest of eternity.

Instead, she sighed a smile and looked away, to the sky. Nestling her gaze in the stars.

"You gave Kanta your pipe."

The Gunner nodded.

"Why?"

She didn't answer right away.

"Because I won't be needing it anymore."

"You're just gonna quit like that? After eleven years, just, bam, done?"

Yuki wasn't incredulous; more worried. Hana kept staring at the horizon.

"Well, I've stopped for seven years before. I don't see why I couldn't do it longer."

Yuki had an incredulous chuckle, just a breath.

"Well you never _stopped_ stopped, did you? Just, like, when I was around."

Hana shook her head.

"What? _Why_?" Yuki was still laughing in disbelief. "There's been stretches where we didn't see each other for months at a time!"

The Gunner shrugged.

"Easier to quit altogether than for random bouts at a time. And it's not like I'd stop smelling of tobacco a day after stopping, so you would've known. And tasted."

The stars weren't captivating enough for Yuki; she turned her head and stared at her love.

"If I'd known I wouldn't have asked!"

A smirk stretched Hana's lips.

"Well it's a bit too late now, ain't it?"

She didn't want it to be too late.

"Hana..."

Silence. The breeze blew between them, and Hana's smirk fell slowly.

"So you're quitting smoking forever? What does this mean?"

The Gunner never looked away from the horizon. Yuki wanted so badly for her to turn her head.

"... I don't know."

She sighed. Softly, Yuki lay three fingers on top of Hana's knuckles.

"I need you to make up your mind. No – I know you've made up your mind. I just need you to commit to it."

Hana didn't move.

"To _me_."

She didn't make a sound. Yuki sighed again, her breath shaking ever so slightly.

"Look, I know it's hard, but-" she paused. "I'll... give you time. I don't necessarily want a grand gesture, Hana: just a yes."

And, slowly, Hana nodded. Yuki briefly wondered what she would've done if she hadn't. The silence already hurt her too much, and she wasn't sure she could've taken complete inaction.

She took her fingers off of the Gunner's and got up.

"I'm gonna... go back to bed."

Hana nodded again. She listened to Yuki's footsteps as they faded away.

Hours later, Hana heard footsteps again. It wasn't Yuki, this time – Hana guessed Haru. The Cadet put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey. You can go to bed now."

"Mhm."

Quietly, Hana got up, and Haru sat down.

"Anything I should be on the lookout for?"

The Gunner shook her head. The earth began to shake. She stopped and gestured towards it.

"Well, that, I guess," she noted.

The ship creaked and rattled softly as echoed through the ground the hundreds of thousands of footsteps of Velociprey.

Haru nodded.

"... yeah."

They stood there and waited for the world to settle. It eventually did, and silence fell back on the valley. Haru turned his head to look at Hana.

"So... good night," he said.

"Yeah, you too."


	17. Chapter 17

Part 17

The earth shook. The Unaaq rattled and creaked and swayed, and running footsteps echoed along it's planks. Leiko erupted inside the cabin and ran straight to the room where Akio was asleep; she threw the door aside with a bang.

"They're HERE!"

The Commander shot up and jumped out of bed, scrambling for his armour before his wife had even begun explaining herself. She turned and headed to all the other rooms when she did, loud enough for all to hear her.

"The fucking horde is here! I can see them just over the horizon, and they're fucking FAST!"

Haru peeked his head out of the door to his room with his chest halfway inside his armour.

"But the artillery from the Guild isn't here yet!" he said.

Leiko ran back up the stairs to go and warn the two scouts, so Akio took over in her place:

"We'll just have to hold the horde off until they get here."

He stepped out of the room, fully armoured just as Hana did the same and slung her Gun over her shoulder.

"I want Haru and Hideaki on the cannons, Hana and Kanta will provide covering fire, and myself, Leiko and Yuki will face the horde head on. You are to start manning the cannons as soon as humanly possible, and always shoot the furthest into the horde you conceivably can, to thin it before it gets to us. Understood?"

Variations of 'yes' were heard from all Aces present. Without missing a beat, Akio climbed the stairs after his wife and looked straight to the horizon.

It was as if the ocean itself had gained sentience, and was now exacting it's vengeance on the earth it had long envied. A wave as wide as the valley, and longer than the eye could measure trampled the grass under its countless clawed feet.

Had Velociprey possessed wings, they would have blotted out the rising sun.

Yuki and Kanta scrambled out of their camp, armour on and weapons at the ready. Leiko quickly climbed back up onto the boat to join her husband.

"Plan?"

"You, Yuki and I are going to meet them head on. Haru and Hideaki on the cannons, Kanta and Hana providing cover fire."

She nodded. Haru clambered down the Unaaq to meet up with the scouts and relay the Commander's orders. Yuki gave him a thumbs up, and Kanta and the Cadet headed back up onto the boat.

"Alright. This is it. I love you," Leiko said.

Akio took her hand and squeezed it a little.

"I love you."

The wave of monsters was quickly gaining ground, and as they came closer the shaking of the earth seemed to align with their trample.

Time slowed to a crawl. The feeling was familiar and expected, if not quite pleasant. Leiko enjoyed it just as much as she feared it. She knew Akio shook it off with resolve and pragmatism. Everyone coped with it differently.

She had, of course, never known Kanta's way of breaking fatality.

"Alright, let's fuckin' do this!"

It startled her a little.

But it also invigorated her in some way. She felt the shock pass through her husband through his hand, and they both got off the boat to join Yuki.

As a unit, they ran up to meet the horde head on.

The noise was almost unbearable. Between the shot of cannons and the growls and screeches of a thousand Velociprey, Leiko felt her ears ring and buzz. Akio was quiet, as the dance of death needed no song, but Yuki's weapon sung and whined as she swung and changed its shape to fit her needs.

Every move they made was met with resistance, every hit an opportunity for one more beast to make it past them. Leiko could feel claws scraping at her armour and fangs just missing her flesh – she ducked to dodge having her head eaten by a Velocidrome and stumbled into having her arm bitten off instead. A shot lodged itself inside the Velociprey's skull before it could close its jaws on her, and Leiko screamed "Thanks!" even though she knew she probably wouldn't be heard.

She leaped to Akio and crushed another Velociprey's rib cage against the ground to stop it from latching onto him. He stabbed the one coming up on her with the sword in his left hand, and another with the one in his right, as Leiko wrestled to keep enough momentum to swing her Hammer efficiently. To their side, Yuki stepped back on a corpse and almost slipped, catching herself with her blade in a Velociprey's neck.

Leiko managed to pull her Hammer up and then back down again to protect her husband's back side while his arm got caught halfway between movements against a falling carcass. The earth had become a crimson mud, ground mixing with blood and entrails. Soon, it was hard for the hunters to find their footing.

"This is fucked, we can't stay here!" Leiko shouted.

She heard Akio grunt, and Yuki's weapon sent out a burst of energy that annihilated five beasts at once.

"It's just gonna get worse," Yuki agreed, "and we're already surrounded – when the cannons run out, there is no way we're gonna make out of here!"

The Commander pulled his sword out of a Velociprey.

"We're not fast enough to run along with the horde, we'll get trampled. Leiko, if I boost you onto a Velocidrome, what are the chances you can ride it out?" he said.

She took a second to think while her Hammer sent a Velicoprey flying.

"Like this, it'll probably be stuck running along with the rest of 'em. So, pretty good? But I'm not leaving you behind."

He ducked while Yuki caught the beast leaping at him on the sharp end of her blade.

"I know. Yuki, I'll boost you up onto a Velocidrome. Leiko, you can jump on one, and grab me once you're up there."

"You know it," Leiko assured.

"Alright!" Yuki agreed.

She butchered her way to him and wiped the blood out of her eyes. As soon as she was there, he sheathed his weapons and caught her when she sprung towards him – he threw her, and she leaped and landed on the back of a beast with a thud.

In his peripherals, Akio watched his wife make enough space to get a running start, slip slightly on the mud, and then use her Hammer to vault up and onto a mess of blue scales. Almost immediately, she passed by him and grabbed his arm – she hoisted him up onto her steed, and he held onto her.

In the river of beasts, there was no room for them to be shaken off. To the Velocidrome, it was run or die.

The cannons quieted. The horde ran and trampled over its own corpses, fast, and soon it reached the Unaaq. Kanta grabbed Yuki, Hideaki grabbed Akio and Haru grabbed Leiko off of their steeds as they crashed against the ship, and hoisted them up onto the bridge.

The earth shook, and the Unaaq trembled. It was back at sea, this time a sea of fangs and claws and blood as the horde split and went around it – this one was a wave this ship could not stand for long. The wood creaked and whined and the Unaaq rocked dangerously.

"If this thing capsizes, we're all dead," Kanta noted.

"We can still hold on," Leiko argued. "We can fight until the Guild gets here."

"There's no fuckin' way. Look at you, you're covered in blood, your hands'll slide off your Hammer's handle any second!"

She felt her fingers sticky and couldn't find a steady grip on her weapon.

"Well we ain't gonna just give up!" she shouted anyway.

Akio put a hand on her shoulder.

"We're not. If we keel over, we'll use the ship as a barrier for ourselves. We'll fight on three fronts instead of four," he said.

"That won't save us!" Kanta insisted. "Ya crazy? They'll just gang up on us for a quick snack before goin' on their way!"

The Commander grit his teeth.

"Say your prayers, kids, 'cause this is the last stop," Kanta added.

Akio exploded.

"Pull your head out of your ass, Kanta! I'm not going to have anyone die here! So take your god damn Bow and SHOOT!"

As if on cue, the ship finally rocked too far – the wood screamed and the Hunters slid off and rolled into their last shelter from the horde.

Hana grit her teeth. She watched as around them amassed stray Velociprey and their alphas, attracted to the scent of meat and blood. The mass of blue scales was so dense that she couldn't see through it. A wall of fangs and claws, ready to devour the flesh from their fragile bones. Maybe Kanta was right.

"If we're all gonna die here..."

Her gaze lay on Yuki, with her face covered in blood and her braid undone, her blade soaked, her breath ragged, and her chest heaving up and down under armour that had seen better days.

"We're not gonna die here!" Leiko said.

The Gunner bit her bottom lip.

"Akio."

"Yes?"

The horde around them advanced slowly.

"You can officiate a wedding, right?"

Yuki stopped breathing.

Akio said: "Yes."

"Marry us. Yuki?"

Yuki sobbed out a laugh.

"You fucking idiot! Of course!"

Kanta piped in.

"You guys don't have a scarf. The marriage won't mean shit if you don't have a scarf."

And, as one, both Leiko and Akio reached for their respective halves of theirs.

"Fuck it, stop!" Kanta shouted. "Fine. Take this."

He pulled out his half of one, ragged and old, out of the pouch at his back. He handed it to Yuki, but she shook her head.

"I can't take that, and you know it."

Kanta shoved it towards her.

"Take it! It'll do you more good than it did me."

She hesitated.

"Quick! Ya don't have time to fuck around!"

She took it. Quickly, she wrapped half of the cloth around Hana's hand, and watched the Gunner as she did hers.

Around them, the horde closed in. Haru looked to Leiko, weapon in hand, then to Hideaki. Kanta raised his Bow.

"Make it quick, you guys," the Hammer wielder smirked. "We'll buy you time."

And they jumped into the melee. Among the sounds of the battle, the roars of monsters and the clanging of armour, Yuki looked up to her lover and blinked away tears.

"I didn't prepare any vows," Hana apologized.

Yuki smiled.

"I don't assume you'd planned on marrying me anytime soon."

Hana felt the fabric between her fingers.

"If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die committed to you."

Akio stepped to them and pulled out his hunting knife – Masato's – and, with a smooth motion, cut the scarf in two halves. Then, he put the knife away and tied them together – there was the bond which bent fate and bound their souls for all of eternity.

"I love you," were Yuki's vows.

"I love you," were Hana's.

Their fingers intertwined and their lips met.

They separated, and untied the knot they didn't need to be bound.

Hana put both hands on her gun with her fingers still intertwined in the scarf, and Yuki grabbed the bloody handle of her Charge Blade just the same.

"Now," Yuki smiled, "I would really love it if we could be married for more than a couple minutes."

"I'll survive as long as possible."

And there was a lot of blood. Time passed in a muddle of gore, moments shifting along with the strength of courage, desperation, and resolve.

In the mess of red and red, they almost didn't hear the singing of cannons resume. But Hana did, and soon she watched the shadow of Man cover the living ocean and the seven Hunters who stood at its end.

Three Guild galleons proved quite enough to stall and then exterminate a mere few hundreds Velociprey.

"Holy shit," said Leiko, as was her wont. "We fuckin' did it!"

From a rope rapidly let down from one of the ships, Kyoko slid to earth.

"You guys okay?"

Most were dazed, but Akio first looked over his people and counted heads.

Everyone was redder than he remembered, but they were all there.

"We're fine," he said.

"Good. Quick, we'll get you guys on the ship."

So they did. And once in the sky, looking down on the capsized Unaaq and ever amassing corpses, the Aces and two scouts fell like dominoes onto the Guild's ship's bridge.

"We're alive!" Leiko shouted to the clouds above.

Kanta lifted his head to look at her.

"You sound surprised for someone who was so confident this'd be the outcome."

"Let a girl bask in the euphoria of survival," Hideaki retorted.

Kanta's head fell back onto the planks. To his right, Hana and Yuki had their hands and scarves intertwined. Further, Haru not-so-subtly watched them and beamed.

There was a moment of silence, the quiet of victors among the noise of the ship and cannons.

"Everything hurts, but there's so much blood I literally have no idea if I'm wounded or not," Leiko commented.

"I feel more tired than when we fought the Fatalis," Haru said.

"Yeah, we're not really endurance fighters," Yuki agreed.

"But we're all alive," Kanta insisted. "Which is just as happy as it's surprising."

"Don't be so pessimistic. We were gonna be fine from the start," the Ace Hammer wielder insisted.

Akio snored.

Leiko rolled over to be able to see him. A smile exploded on her face.

"He didn't sleep last night," Hana guessed.

"Not much, I don't think."

Yuki turned her head to lay it against her wife's shoulder.

"I think Imma copy his great idea."

"Sleep tight," Haru and Leiko chimed.

Softly, Hana rested her head against her wife's.


	18. Chapter 18

Part 18

Sat on the Unaaq's banister, Hana cleaned her Gun.

Absentmindedly, she reached for a piece that had been there for nine years and wasn't anymore. Her eyes flickered to her weapon for an explanation, and she remembered that what sat on her thighs was a Gun made out of Fatality itself.

She looked up, to the reason she'd shattered the previous one.

Yuki had tied her half of their scarf around her left wrist. On occasions, her stare would wander down to it and her eyes would light up like stars. Fire softly roared inside of Hana's stomach – she was suddenly aware of the red cloth tied around her thigh.

Yuki looked to her, just a passing attention, and their eyes met. She smiled.

Hana looked back down, and continued cleaning her Gun – not for long, though, as Yuki strode over and ran her fingers through her wife's hair to catch her attention.

"We're leaving soon."

She ran her fingers down, to brush the Ace Gunner's cheek and cup her chin with her index.

"I know," Hana said.

"Hopefully we can catch you guys again sooner rather than later."

Yuki's stare flickered down.

"Mhm," was Hana's answer.

Yuki's smile gained a sad edge. She bent down to lay a kiss on her wife's forehead.

"I've got some stuff to go and prepare before we leave. See you later, okay?"

Her hand lingered close to the Ace Gunner's face, and Hana watched her leave. She let a moment pass, fleeting, and briefly wondered how many things she'd let slip away.

"Hey!" she called out before it was too late.

Yuki stopped and turned around.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Entire galaxies exploded in her eyes.

"I love you too!"

Yuki smiled, brighter than the sun. She walked out with a spring in her step, not quite unlike the one that moved her when she danced. Flames licked at Hana's throat, and she looked back down to her Gun with a smile, too.

* * *

With a northern wind brushing against her face, Hana watched the horizon fleeing from her.

She heard Akio walk up.

"A letter came. It's from Yuki."

She turned to him and grabbed the letter softly between her fingers. She didn't open it. In a step, Akio walked over to her side and leaned against the Unaaq's banister.

"So," he said after a short silence, "Are you two planning on a wedding ceremony?"

Hana had no hesitation.

"No."

Then, something flashed in her eyes.

"... Maybe. I'll think about it."

"Alright."

Hana's attention returned to the skyline, and Akio's gaze rested on his wife. She laid on the ship's bridge, sunbathing while she still could.

"Leiko was asking?" Hana guessed.

"She did wonder, but no. I wanted to know."

The Ace Gunner raised her eyebrows ever so slightly.

"Huh."

They let a short silence slide, a quiet moment of fragile peace.

"So," Hana broke it, "How are you feeling about going back to Lumi?"

Akio had a short sigh, almost inaudible.

"If I'm honest, not exactly enthused."

"Hm. Yeah," the Gunner agreed.

She heard the Commander shrug.

"Ah, well. We'll be there for work, so I'm sure we'll be busy enough," he said.

"Probably."

The wind whistled softly. In a handful of days, perhaps snow would grace the Unaaq's bow. Akio looked forward to it before they landed.

To take his mind off of the impending task, he lost his gaze in the details of Leiko's shape.

"You must be looking forward to it, though," he suggested.

"Yeah," Hana breathed. "It's weird how..."

She trailed off, losing her voice in the breeze. Akio didn't push it.

The Ace Gunner glanced down, to the scarf tied around her thigh. She had a deep breath, and threw her head back to stare at the clouds above.

"I never used to miss her this much."

From the corner of her eyes, she saw a small smile peek on Akio's face. She looked away. He noticed.

"I'm sure," he agreed.

* * *

"Ya know," Kanta blew smoke away from Yuki, "I still can't believe you got married to her."

Yuki stayed quiet for a moment.

"What exactly do you want out of this conversation?" she said.

He paused for emphasis, or because he was thinking about it. Maybe both, as far as Yuki was concerned.

"I want you to convince me that you didn't just shoot yourself in the foot an' sign up for a lifetime of bein' strung along by the woman who's done exactly that for the past seven years."

Yuki's storm started brewing.

"Why are you so intent on making her out to be the villain?! She's just – ugh."

Before the blizzard even truly started, it settled. Yuki sighed and pursed her lips.

"... Look: breaking up with her was the shittiest decision I ever had to make. You might think I'm exaggerating, but no, I mean it. I never _wanted_ to leave her. It'd be easy to say that it was an act of self-respect, but I'm not really sure. It was more, I wanted it to be a wake up call for her, you know? And I know you think that's bullshit and I'm an idiot, but... I care about her. And it's not just that: I also know that she cares about me. And it's not the marriage or the letters that proved it to me – I've known forever. There was never a moment in all of our years together where I wondered whether or not she loved me, because I know her and I know that the things she did for me, the little things like the way she looked at me, or the way her hand tangled with mine when she thought I was asleep; they all meant much more coming from her than the fact that she'd never told me 'I love you'."

Yuki lost her gaze somewhere in the midst of memories. Kanta continued smoking.

"That doesn't mean that it didn't _hurt_ me, or that I never wished that she would say it. Just that I had some certainties that couldn't be shaken. And, yeah, you can't build a relationship on faith like that: that's the reason I broke up with her in the first place. I didn't need her to prove to me that she loved me, I already knew that. I needed her to..."

And stars lit up in Yuki's eyes, a realization long hidden in the folds of her heart that she had never been able to access.

"Breaking up with her wasn't an act of self-respect for me: it was an act of self-respect on her behalf. I wanted her to look at herself, not at me, and realize that she could take that step she'd been terrified of for twenty-eight years: that she _is_ strong enough, that she _is_ good enough, and that she sure as hell isn't the burden bringing me down she seems to think she is."

Yuki smiled, something deep and wide, just as emotional and pained as it was tender.

"It was never about asking myself why I should stick by her side and suffer for her wounds: it was about her asking herself why I shouldn't. I think... she didn't refuse to commit to me just because she was scared of being tied down, but also because she was scared of tying _me_ down. Of not being good enough for _me_."

With her gaze still nestled somewhere in the clouds, Yuki chuckled softly.

"That's... that's the kind of person she is. She's accepted that she's broken and can never be fixed, so she'd rather be unhappy forever than drag other people down with her. Thing is, none of these things are true, and she needed to realize that. I don't think we're completely out of the woods yet, but we're making progress. And no matter what anyone says, I'll stand right by her until she loves herself even a fraction of how much she loves me."

Kanta crushed his cigarette between his thumb and the ship's banister.

"Sure, okay."

Yuki looked down, to the scarf tied around her wrist. With a smile, she said:

"It's gonna be an ordeal."


End file.
